awakened ophelia

moar funny pictures

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Mmmmmm Egg nog... just three more days

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa tried skipping our house a couple of years ago and we just got presents from Mom and Dad... I was pissed, he came back the next year, learned his lesson and hasn't skipped us since.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
I like all white, it's classic

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Sometimes to ambush people in doorways with hugs and kisses... it's foul yet endearing at the same time

5. When do you put your decorations up?
the day after turkey day... I need a new tree this year the cats chewed up the lights on the old one too bad the lights weren't on at the time

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
stuffing, I newly like candy yams

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?
Coming home from Christmas Eve Mass all excited about the next day. Something's magical about 1 am christmas morning with all the lights on, I still cant sleep right before christmas.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Fricken biotches in Girl Scouts. I held my own for a while but the damn troop leaders didn't do anything and ruined it for all the younger kids which included me. They ruined my Innocence...

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
I have plastic glazed fruit and I need to replace the bulbs, it's year three and they are starting to flake, they also didn't stand up very well last year with all the death defing leaps the pussy cats made. It was like Mission impossible around my apartment last year, I am just glad i can put up my Nativity Scene this year

11. Snow, love it or hate it?
LOVE it, I love walking on abandond streets in the middle of a heavy windless snow fall with all the lights flickering... ahhh so romantic :)

12. Can you ice skate?
I used to skate pretty well, some how I am better on or in water than functioning on land... Another reason I should be a pirate arrrrrrgh!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Currently it's the Pirates game I got last year... i am a sucker for Piratey things and Johnny my fiance... Sorry babe, but if I ever get a chance I am so having sexy time with that man, you have been warned

14. Most important thing about the holidays?
Peanut Butter Balls and i guess Family, world peace blah blah blah

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
PEANUT BUTTER BALLS!!!! I like pumpkin rolls too.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Decorating the christmas tree and watching christmas movies with the family

17. What tops your tree?
a pretty bronze star

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
giving, I make most of my gifts, most people now days just buy whatever they want anyways I would rather a meaningful gift that showes that I took time out for them.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
uhhh the chickens squaking to the tune of the Sugar Plum Fairy. Actually it's carol of the bells.

20. Candy canes:
i can do without, what do they represent anyways?

21. Favorite Christmas movie?
in this order... The Grinch, Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story... that was difficult

22. What do you leave for Santa?
threats of bodily harm if he doesn't leave presents under the tree god damn it, I don't care if I am 25 he better get his fat ass through that fire place especially if I go through all that trouble to make cookies and leave carrots out for the demonic farm animals.

ECHO ECHo ECho Echo echo....

I just woke up from an aweful dream. You will like it it's interesting.

So I was walking through the old county fair with Paris Hilton, Yes Paris Hiltion I did say it was a bad dream. And so we were walking through and this geeky guy was like oh I know you to me, and he Climbed the radio tower in front of us did some spy like things and a light flashed. I was pissed because he took my picture then he walked over to Paris Hiltion and she is so dumb he didn't even do any spy things. And he took their picture too and was very non-chalantly walked away. So then I am pissed and he knows what I look like and as soon as I find him he starts running. I kinda follow him and find out that he is doing something weird with the photos.

So then I go change my clothes and cut my hair off so I can hunt this bitch down, takes all of 5 seconds. I find him and I start punching him in the face. But you know how my punches are, I have only really punched one person in my life and they looked at me like I was giving them a love tap. So then I just start aming for an eye and hope it bruises. I finally give him a black eye and run. I guess I showed him right... I finally find Paris Hilton and she is Making out with Florence Henderson, yeah the Brady Bunch Mom. I guess she is a slut in my dreams too.

So I go to leave and i walk through the old bar and you come running up to me. I ask what happened to Samoa. You say, "you know that date I had last night, well we got married" You then tell me "she's the one" you are all excited about your 7 new children and the one born last night, you want me to help you pick something out for your new son (she was pregnant and you havent gotten over that saving people thing when you date) I get pissed of and just start running. Eventually I come back, tell you I love you and that I know I should be happy that you have found "the one" I also say that getting married after one date is not acceptable and I will love you still anyways.

BUT IF YOU DO THAT FOR REAL I WILL KILL YOU!!! Seriously use this time wisely. I will make you a deal. If you don't go and get married in Samoa with out telling me you are at least seeing someone, or choose to have a very short engagement THEN I will promise that I won't hang out with Paris Hilton and try to give weird people black eyes. I just want you to know how much of a catch you are. You are a very special person and not just anyone deserves you. I Love you very much and whoever she is she better be one amazing woman.

Have a good day at work!

Gwen

I am sitting at home being lazy watching love stories and drawing pretty pictures. I realized the other day that it's been nearly three years since Glen and I broke up. Since I had somewhat of a serious relationship.

All I can say is Wow!

There comes a time when you go from saying I love being single to god I hate these people. Ehh The three years thing kind of scares me.

Time for a run

I have been hit with a great big dose of reailty today. I just know that when I go into work tomorrow and get asked about my weekend wondering how the benefit I know I will have a come appart.

I keep saying that I miss my dogs now that I don't live near home anymore but I think I miss being around to help more. 3-5 sounds like a prison sentance.

I can't help but agree with this man here.







Kinda funny coming from an ex KKK member.

this is what this man, one of our senators said a little over 60 years ago

Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.

He had earlier written Bilbo "I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side".

Reading this I was just reminded of my Hate Crimes class. Don't think he is the only politician who at one time was a member.


I do need to also quote what followed in Wiki. Also I am only quoting wiki because I remember it and i don't exactly have my old notes here still.

please note this too then.

In 1997, he told an interviewer he would encourage young people to become involved in politics, but to "Be sure you avoid the Ku Klux Klan. Don't get that albatross around your neck. Once you've made that mistake, you inhibit your operations in the political arena." In his latest autobiography, Byrd explained that he was a member because he "was sorely afflicted with tunnel vision—a jejune and immature outlook—seeing only what I wanted to see because I thought the Klan could provide an outlet for my talents and ambitions." Byrd also said, in 2005, "I know now I was wrong. Intolerance had no place in America. I apologized a thousand times ... and I don't mind apologizing over and over again. I can't erase what happened."

I hope this is true, it doesn't help that the KKK is on it's way back. Reminds me of voldemort.

And quit buying your pets at petstores, that is probrably the worst thing you can do.

Brett Michales has nothing on Flava.

Flav may have a limited vocabulary but his words have so many different meanings. It could be the way he mispronounces things or even the way that sometimes he g's it up so much that you wonder if it's a word in the first place

Brett Michales reminds me of the guy at the bar who is way too drunk and goes around asking people why the hot girl hates him

Flave just reminds me of the guy that mysteriously showed up in our drunk picture waiting for the el while on a binge in chicago.

Besides Brett Michales pouts his lips too much, he looks too much like my weird ex who just facebooked me so he can have 4 friends instead of 3 and did I mention he plucks his eyebrows and not just in the middle. Mine are nicer though. His are almost as good I have to admit that one.

Oh Brett Michales I want you to pick the Texan who breaks up fights and has what looks like awesome implants. I think you would be an awesome fucked up couple...

I am at my parents house for a couple of days. I come home and my bro's take off. Yeah the same ones who say that they miss me. I guess climbing at Planet Rock is just so much more appealing than planning our dad's b-day. Speaking of which I need to get cracken at that.

Good news--- I start school in three weeks. I can't freeking wait. I just want to be done and on with my life so I can go back to school again.

wah whah wah wha wah wha wha wah wah wha whah waah wah wha wha hwa

I have always like to play dodge ball. Maybe it’s because there is a sudden sting before you eliminate your opponents. Maybe it’s because I all too often get hit in the face when I play sports and in this case I rarely receive black eyes.

Right now I like it because the kids let me play with them now that camp is in session, it is my job to make sure that everyone is having fun. If that means that I have to sacrifice and spend some of my valuable time chucking balls and little kids heads then it’s a risk I am willing to take.

Yesterday at such a game Rasheed Wallace decided to play with us. As this was Kids vs. Coaches (a game we often loose) he decided to play and rightfully so he was on the Kids team. So right when we started to play I felt two balls go wizzing by and so I started watching the next two. After that I scooped up a ball and quickly stepped up the throw it. Unfortuantly I stepped into Rasheed’s cannon and took one to the face.

It completely stunned me. I don’t think I have ever been hit that hard in my life. I couldn’t even see right away, it took me a few seconds to focus and when I did I saw a very large mouth who’s chin had dropped. He worded to me “are you ok.” I turned to one of the coaches and asked “Is my face ok, is there any blood?” and thinking back about it he seemed to be in a bit of a shock. Later I got teased a bunch for being a princess and being more worried about how I look than how much it hurt.

And that is how I took one to the face from the NBA

I just had one of those nights when I got a glimpse of what I could be doing with my life instead of what I am doing. I must work harder. I am working to hard to do too little.

I miss my friends. I spent most of the night reminising about first meetings that took place 7 years ago. These are the people I miss, these are the people who have enriched me. How could I have let them go so easily for something I knew I didn't really want.

Check out this guy

So here I am minding my own business, just got done barbequeing my skin and this guy follows me out of the salon and starts talking to me. Ok whatever, he was pretty charming I knew something was up, he follows me to my car (mistake #1, should have walked to another car, now he knows what my car looks like) He asked for a cigarette, and go figure I happened to have a pack for the first time in about 5 months (mistake #2, should have just given him the pack and left). Then he tried to get into my car. That’s when I checked the lock on my car and walked back into the salon. Turns out he was a magazine salesman, but he has tons of money and use to be a Male Escort. I am wondering if there is a bridge he could sell me too.

On my way home I was listening to NPR as I usually do and I heard a story on Sudan and the CIA. What caught my attention most is the Bush quote saying “Sudan is a valuable ally to the war on terror” Funny I thought Genocide was an act of terror. Oh yeah that’s right, George Bush hates black people so I guess it doesn’t count. What is the death toll now? I believe it’s around 300,000 people.

I have lost it. I must have misplaced it or something, I am sure I can get it back but I have misplaced so many things in the past that I wonder if it will ever be the same. Usually when I find an object that had disappeared it returns to me nearly unrecognizable, tattered and torn like someone switched it with their own abused item.

I am lost my creative soul. When I started becoming a big girl and working better and better jobs with more and mote responsibility a very close friend warned me that I would lose my soul. He also has spent most of his life with out accountability and has this simplicity about him that he can see things that are in front of me but so plain and can make odds and ends in to incredible things.

Now it is summer time, when I feel I come a live, at night I like to take walks and breathe in life, At this moment I feel I would rather go with-out sleep than to miss those beautiful moments. After all I know my soul lies in those moment of life that exists where being human makes you feel closer to god. I need to fee that rush of air again. I need to feel it tonight.

I am amazed on how quickly a week can go by. It seems like it went in a blink. I did move into a bigger office. How ever it is bigger it does have more crap that isn’t mine. I had finally gotten rid of all of the extra boxes and supplies that are never used or needed to be thrown away years ago from my old office. I left it nicely swept and supplied only to begin again.

Isn’t that what we do though. We are constantly beginning again, just to begin again and again and agan. I know I just have a hard time staying put. I need change in my life, I need adventure. Speaking of adventure. I did ask someone for coffee this week. It took some ovaries for me to do it and they accepted and sounded enthused. We are supposed to go for coffee this week. We will see how that goes?

I read Matt Good’s article on his trip to Rome and found it unfortunately familiar. Most times people write articles for themselves. They either feel like they are doing something positive about an issue or they are dealing with an explosion of emotion or whatever. It’s still usually about one’s self. Likewise when reading articles I can’t help but think of how this affects me. How does my experiences relate to this one. In this way I am completely selfish. Well in most ways I am completely selfish. Not in a I will always get my way type of thing but the way that The world revolves around me. That at anytime God is speaking only to me and only has my best interest at heart.

Either way this little article reminded me of a time which ultimately ended a very poor relationship. One of those that nobody understood least of all me. There was so much lies and deceit that everyone assumed I just knew. I just knew because I am so smart and I can read people so well. Well our little trip to England led to me understanding how selfish other people were too. How sleeping in until 2 pm and a complete lack of respect surrounded me. By the time we were to leave I had been crying for far too long even if I was doing my best to hold it in. Even holding it in led to ridicule and “What’s wrong with you” Next time I will be a bit smarter. I will chose my traveling partners better even if I am only traveling to tomorrow because that’s what’s most important anyways.

Speaking of which, I am going to ask someone for coffee tomorrow. It will be a new adventure for me.

I started my midnight walks. It’s something I loved to do after work when I was in my parents house. I would get home from the shelter, grab a dog and stroll down to the waterside where I would take off my flip flops to feel the sand dig in-between my toes. The dog would be soaked at this point as they always go strait for the water and fuck the people who are afraid of dogs but not going to the river at 2am when they should be kind of afraid. Me, that’s when I felt human. That’s where I grew up watching Canadians drive along the highways with little lights that moved quickly in the distance. Although notably it’s a bit of “The Grass is Greener” complex.

No when I walk to the water I only feel mud and gravel beneath my feet and my warm sand has been replaced with break wall rocks. There is no Canada in sight. I am going to have to find some beach near me.

I would like to nominate Burger King for a "Way to Go" on their mastery of the English language. They are getting more and more ghetto and less and less fabulous. They have a mascot who has more bling than P-diddy and is just as creepy as the Donnie Darko bunny. Plus this weird guy likes to hang out at the beach and stare at ladies with out saying anything. That sort of thing really creeps me out.

As I was leaving Burger King today after lunch there was a sign on the door that said "bu-bye." Ummmm ok that's so circa mid 90's David spade. Underneath that was the question "You going?" How is that even a sentence???? I didn’t even bother to read the rest.

I walked to my car and couldn’t help being reminded how often I don’t understand people because they don’t speak the brand of English I speak. I really should be more open minded. There was a group of girls from Columbia and Mexico in the other day and I spoke with one of their teachers who said that they were in a submersion program. So of course I would repeat all the words they said wrong back to them. I probably should have just let them go on with it. However they decided to flip back and forth between Spanish and English whenever they were gossiping. I didn’t feel that bad then because I knew what they were saying and it wasn’t very nice.

There are three people in this world where even the sound of their breath brings life into my heart. Too many times my heart beats on with the rhythm of the city phased not by those around me but those three certain people bring color and texture into my world. I called one of those people this weekend. “It’s you” is all that I needed to hear to bring warmth into my body and dance into my soul. “Crazy Weekend” I am reminded of nights on the beach and fires that singe the needles of the hovering pine trees. “his dad isn’t doing too good” The others around us seem to impact our world but they just float in and out like Autum leaves fluttering down to earth just to lay upon our feet. I love my friends, I love all of my friends but there are a certain few that touch me in a way that helps me breath again.

Oh yeah, I painted this weekend and It sucked.

It’s ironic, Love Crusade is playing on the radio. Na na na na… At the same time I am reading an article on Cnn, yet another story of militants, death and the American way. We brought peace to the Middle East in the form of a lynch mob, not in the form of democracy.

My grandfather and I argue all the time over the concept of Hate Crimes. Even before terrorist attacks touched home his stance was that you can’t change the way people think, mind control should not be an avenue the government is allowed to venture down. My argument was that acting out on such hate should be illegal. What you say or do at home is your own business but there needs to be rules for people you meet and interact with in public.

The more I read and think about this 6 year long post 9/11 argument the more tired I am and the less I learn and the less I believe in our government.

Over Easter my dad and his friend started arguing with me over my beliefs once again tring to change my way of thinking because it wasn’t what they thought. Eventually when my dad’s friend said that I was Anti-American because I have a mistrust of our government I got up and left the table. I always felt that I was a better American because I question the powers that be. Checks and Balances… I wish I could send some people back to high school Civics class.

Damn it feels good to be a pirate. I haven’t been able to mark my thoughts on this blog for two reasons 1. I don’t have internet access at my condo and 2. the door to my office backs up to one of the owner’s offices and he is here almost as much as I am. That and I am just now getting comfortable with their system that I don’t feel bad about it anymore.

That being said Civarro’s is blocked because of Alcohol/Tabacco reason from our server. They are cracking down on this tabbaca stuff. I didn’t even try Raymi’s oh wait it is blocking me because it’s rated as a porn website. YYYEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

So am I pirating because I am blogging at work…. Ohhhhh so bad!!! Or is it because I got into a huge car accident and now am driving an SUV which I love. I am going to have to go camping now just so I can rectify having it. Lets just say I have way too much pirate stuff already and I want more!!!!!

In old recent news I started playing soccer. They tend to have me mark the player who was a starter on the U of M soccer team a few years ago. That I will never understand. We have lost every game but one. That one we tied!!!! Woo hoo for not loosing. It’s funny on my quest to drop back down to a size 8 I have gained 15 pounds however I didn’t go up in size at all. I was kinda dating this personal trainer for a while. He still calls and we are still friendly and all of that but with all the protein shakes and the living in sweat pants except for the nights when we go out and he is all macked up in the A/E like a real douche then starts to make out with a cougar and denies it. Oh what was I talking about. Oh that I don’t like living in sweat pants. Funny that working at an athletic facility I am the one of the best dressed person here. It’s my preference to Kaki’s opposed to wind pants. Did I mention how much I love my job?

Labels: muscles, pirate, work

I have been pathetically aweful at posting. But then again this is the first time in ohhhhh 10 years that I have lived in a place where I don't have internet access. That and I am NOT about to visit this site at work. I like having a job thank you very much. This thing has become much like that "old" firend who I have nothing in common with anymore. It used to be something I craved but we have just grown apart something that only panera bread can restore I guess with more visits.

No Grimmy I am not gone. I moved twice, became another year older, LOVE my job and no I am not quite gone.

Living in a new city is always ummm lets just say troublesome. Finding internet, my computer is now blocked at a few local hotels advertising free wi/fi. Some how it doesn’t seem so free. I still haven’t found the “cool” bar. I haven’t made any new friends. I went out with a few co-workers but since I am their boss it’s kind of difficult. I also have refrained from accessing my favorite bull shit sites at work. I am trying to separate life from work as much as possible since I have made my office my second home fully equipped with picture frames, boxes of microwave pop corn, vitamins and a heater.

I actually should quit paying rent, only rent storage space and move into my office. I don’t think the owner would even notice. I am there before he gets there and I leave after him anyways.

What has suffered is my writing and my painting. I haven’t even picked up my sketch pad in three months and here I am wanting to be a graphic designer when I grow up.

I at least still get the weird glances from the wanna be exciting little kids at panera bread. Who comes to Panera Bread for a good time. We used to go to a place called Paddy Flarities. It was open mike night, illicit drug addict night and, wanna be cool night all at once. Me I didn’t participate in any of those, I just went for the scene. I guess I went to wanna be cool night when I started this god damn blog.

Across from me at this of so many Paneara Breads is a group of elderly no longer hipsters perched at the edge of their seats leaning in to each word the long haired Corona wearing gospel philosopher is saying. It reminds me of the “Philosophy Club” I went to a few years back. We were much less greyer and some what prettier, but just as pathetic.

Well here we go once again Daddy Cool

I guess my posting is affected not only by internet access, but by how pissed off I am.

I am starting to get pissed off again...

Sitting here in a posh coffee shop with not so posh tennis shoes and not so posh flece with a very posh long johns on how is that possible and the world around me is talking about commerce. The market is Up today, the need for malpractice insurance, and I am like all WTF'ing over the fact that they firewalled raymi's and myspace. It's like going for the nose candy and finding out that it's only powdered sugar.

I had this overwhelming sense that I am not as important and my needs aren't as important as the stock broker and ad guru next to me. Maybe its that on my day off I only checked my production numbers once and my work email twice. Oh to have wendsdays off is like not really being part of the corporate world. It's priceless. The day I become ruthless is the day I sell my soul to the devil...

Captain Kangaroo passed away on January 23, 2004 as age 76 , which is odd, because he always looked to be 76. (DOB: 6/27/27.) His death reminded me of the following story.
Some people have been a bit offended that the actor, Lee Marvin, is buried in a grave alongside 3 and 4 star generals at Arlington National Cemetery. His marker gives his name, rank (PVT) and service (USMC). Nothing else. Here's a guy who was only a famous movie star who served his time, why the heck does he rate burial with these guys? Well, following is the amazing answer:
I always liked Lee Marvin, but didn't know the extent of his Corps experiences.




In a time when many Hollywood stars served their country in the armed forces often in rear echelon posts where they were carefully protected, only to be trotted out to perform for the cameras in war bond promotions,
Lee Marvin was a genuine hero. He won the Navy Cross at Iwo Jima. There is only one higher Naval award... the Medal Of Honor.



If that is a surprising comment on the true character of the man, he credits his sergeant with an even greater show of bravery.

Dialog from "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson": His guest was Lee Marvin. Johnny said, "Lee, I'll bet a lot of people are unaware that you were a Marine in the initial landing at Iwo Jima ...and that during the course of that action you earned the Navy Cross and were severely wounded."



"Yeah, yeah... I got shot square in the bottom and they gave me the Cross for securing a hot spot about halfway up Suribachi. Bad thing about getting shot up on a mountain is guys getting' shot hauling you down. But,Johnny, at Iwo I served under the bravest man I ever knew... We both got the cross the same day, but what he did for his Cross made mine look cheap in comparison. That dumb guy actually stood up on Red beach and directed his troops to move forward and get the hell off the beach Bullets flying by, with mortar rounds landing everywhere and he stood there as the main target of gunfire so that he could get his men to safety. He did this on more than one occasion because his men's safety was more important than his own life.

That Sergeant and I have been lifelong friends. When they brought me off Suribachi we passed the Sergeant and he lit a smoke and passed it to me, lying on my belly on the litter and said, where'd they get you Lee?' Well Bob... if you make it home be fore me, tell Mom to sell the outhouse!"

Johnny, I'm not lying, Sergeant Keeshan was the bravest man I ever knew.

The Sergeant's name is Bob Keeshan. You and the world know him as Captain Kangaroo."



On another note, there was this wimpy little man (who just passed away) on PBS, gentle and quiet. Mr. Rogers is another of those you would least suspect of being anything but what he now portrays to our youth. But Mr. Rogers was a U.S. Navy Seal, combat-proven in Vietnam with over twenty-five confirmed kills to his name. He wore a long-sleeved sweater on TV, to cover the many tattoos on his forearm and biceps. He was a master in small arms and hand-to-hand combat, able to disarm or kill in a heartbeat.



After the war Mr. Rogers became an ordained Presbyterian minister and therefore a pacifist. Vowing to never harm another human and also dedicating the rest of his life to trying to help lead children on the right path in life He hid away the tattoos and his past life and won our hearts with his quiet wit and charm.

America's real heroes don't flaunt what they did; they quietly go about their day-to-day lives, doing what they do best. They earned our respect and the freedoms that we all enjoy.

Look around and see if you can find one of those heroes in your midst.

Often, they are the ones you'd least suspect, but would most like to have on your side if anything ever happened.
Take the time to thank anyone that has fought for our freedom. With encouragement they could be the next Captain Kangaroo or Mr. Rogers.

I move into a condo tomorrow. Move day number 4 for me... with in the past year. I hate moving, I hate when my boss doesn't pay me and owes me hundreds of dollers. I hate how bad i am with my finances. I hate how my aunts and uncles gave my parents tools for putting together grandkid toys. I hate how everyone that that was so funny. I hate how so few of my family members see me as productive since I havent produced an offspring. I hate how much it has cost me financially to follow my consious and try to do the right thing. I hate how when/if i fall into a unfortunate circumstance that it costs me more than it would for almost anyone else. I hope I continue to feel welcome in this new position. I hope that I won't lay down at night with a guilty consious because what I do doesn't directly affect society in a positive way. I hope that when the dust settles I feel a sense of accomplishment. I hope that I will continue to grow creatively. I wish I will find it in my time to take as much care for myself physically as I need. I wish I loose a couple of pounds this year. I wish my dad follows my lead. I wish my dad follows the doctors orders and works to be healthier. I love that when asked what I weight even people in the medical feild they are shocked and always guess wrong. i love my new job. I love my family and would like to keep us together. I love sushi. I love my new condo. I love the idea of having my stuff around me again.


I love me

Today was our first day of the real classes I conducted. I feared I would look incompetent but it went fine. I got a new job hence why I am not commenting, blogging and barely even checking other blogs. I also move on sunday, and sueing my old boss. Well thinking about sueing my old boss and we will see by the end of the week if I actually do it. Just thinking. Either way I am fucking pissed.

I still LOVE LOVE LOVE MY NEW JOB. I forgot how much fun it is working in recreation. I think it's interesting how I am being paied more than a bunch of my college graduate friends and I beat out a ton of college graduates for the position. I know I am almost done, almost done, almost done. But I am still only almost done. Today was one of the few days I was able to instruct. Unfortuantly I am in such a supervisory position that I can't teach. Today was so much fun, the parents were so much fun.

What I do miss is the gossip on Outlaw's page. I just found out that Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz broke up. I know it completely changes everything to the earths gravitational pull, some how I will survive.

So apparently if I quit writing on this thing the hits go up. Let's see them plumet!!!

Ehh I am too buzy maybe I will destroy this thing tomorrow.

So my hair is everywhere, I have a bit of the racoon eyes still going from the heavy make up the night befor and YET all the waitresses and waiters smile aprovingly. I AM SWEET. You know what is not sweet. Remembering how late you made those phone calls. It wouldn't have been so bad if everyone knew my new number but i am keeping my old one anyways, i just am lazy and still havent switched everything around yet.

things to note for the future

lepord print panties are awesome. this one girl at the bar last night had them on and I couldn't help but say wowzas.

Remember even if you haven't spend a lot of money on alcohol that doesn't mean that you didn't have a lot to drink. Especially when you are old and can take your alcohol so you don't realize how much you actually have had to drink

Yay Dad didn't have to hold my head out of the toilet this year.

Everyone has sex on New Years sooo becareful about the drunk calls especially after you have sex.

Next Year remove parent's cellphone number from speed dial before you leave the house for the night.

Don't forget to wear sparkaly things on new years.

Don't ever bring a date on New Years unless you have to.

I don't know I am sure I will have more later. For some reason I think I had an innermonolouge malfunction last night. That and I was pretending to be rev. johnson again. I didn't say ANYTHING about the power of the holy spirit. And now I am remembering what someone elese said about the holy spirit

OH MY I NEED TO QUIT TRING TO REMEMBER THINGS!



Oh and alls yalls fools biiioootttchhhes

I got two supa pussies that are the bomb digaty. White girl gangsta what what


I really just wanted an excuse to post my cut kitties.

I have never seen such a celebrated funerals. Weather it's a ohh my friend and mentor died... Look at me Look at me, or it's the Ding dong the lyncing's over. I am probrably the only one angry that Sadam was executed. Mostly because we basically unleashed a mob on the man. How can a person be executed for war crimes during a war. I know the crimes he was tried over happend roughly 20 plus years ago but how is that a proper trial in any way. It isn't anything but a proper lynching. Now that's spreading democracy. Democracy seems to be a lot like brusslesprouts. For some reason we think it's good for everyone and they are going to eat it and they are going to like it too damn it.

Was anyone else disturbed over the James Brown funeral. I thought it was a Motown reunion until I actually read the captions. That's what I get for watching and typing at the same time. I guess I was most perturbed by the sparkaling gowns (not koser at a funeral) the flashing lights and the fact that the camera was on the pulpit at all times. A Red Carpet funeral. Now I don't have a personal relationship with the godfather of soul but (and this is just a personal viewpoint) I hardly believe that speaking or singing at a funeral should be a career move for anyone. Too many diva's under one room makes me puke up my latte. I think my favorite so far was that it looked like they were all tring to get camera space at the pulpit. I was waiting for someone to wave in the back and mouth "Hi Mom!"

Soooo yeah

I am a bad blogger, blah blah blah, we have all heard this before

But I got a super secret new job where I am like in charge of highering and firing high school and college kids. Weather these kids have money to get drunk on saturday nights is in my hands. Ooooohhhh can you feel the power. I don't know about how it feels but it sure smells funky.

Speeking of funky in like to get my cafe mocha so I can use my nifty little lap top I heard this group of kids talking and it went a little something like this. I am surprised I didn't pull all the hair out of my head.

Retard with the Mohawk: I leave for Iraq June 24th man

Retard with the Glasses: Dude are you going to Iraq

Mohawk: Yeah well I have to go to basic training first I am going to be in Artilary

Glasses: Cool is that where you jump out of planes

Mohawk: No it's where you are on the ground shooting people Du du du du du du du du du du du du du (shooting noises)

Glasses: Sweet, aren't you scared

Mohawk: Naw man I am going to get 14,000 for college man

Glasses: Ahhhh gurgle gurgle gurgle

Mohawk: Hey you know that Professional Gamer deal that I got,

Glasses: Yeah dooode

Mohawk: Yeah I am not allowed to drop names or anything SONY but yeah I got their new game systems for free and all their games like gurgle gurgle gurgle.

I WAS SOOOOO IMPRESSED.



So I am no longer going to be pooped on or peed on at least for a while. That and I start tomorrow at 9am. OHH OHH Also I get two days off IN A ROW!!! How sweet is that.

It doesn't really work to a skip rope. Yeah so we picked up the bachlor who complained when we made him buy a round because I bought the previous round and I am totally missing out on vinalla ice porn. I hope you appreciate this. So guess what bitches I am in tony pierce town. Yeah that's chi town. And doug is selling crack pipes to crack whores. Crack whores in my neighborhood, in my neighborhood in my neighborhood are middle eastern. Yeah boy. Yeah flava was winking at me the whole train ride home. I am the only clean one heare not clan my god. Mr. Bogangles is a fucking basterd who gets spraied. so tomoorow before we go home we are buying knockoffs. I have a feeling sha hey na is going ot be driving tomorrown.

I know I am doing two back to back... completely uncalled for except for that mikey whinned a little soooo to apeaze the natives... I spelled that wrong I know

11:18:17 PM iawcc/mikey: gwendalynn where's my picture? :-(
11:18:47 PM gweenyb: My camera broke
11:18:50 PM gweenyb: :(
11:18:52 PM gweenyb: I dropped it
11:18:55 PM iawcc/mikey: BULLSHIT
11:18:59 PM gweenyb: my friend is coming tomorrow with hers
11:19:02 PM iawcc/mikey: YOU'RE THE 3RD PERSON TO TRY TO USE THIS ONE O ME!
11:19:04 PM iawcc/mikey: >_<
11:19:24 PM gweenyb: honest to god I cracked the LCD and the flash is now not working so I cant use the menu to fix it
11:19:43 PM iawcc/mikey: >_<
11:19:54 PM gweenyb: you know what's bull shit is that that fucking LCD is the second one I busted and I can't find a camera nearly as good as the one I got
11:20:07 PM gweenyb: mine haven't been around for a while
11:20:16 PM iawcc/mikey: :-(
11:21:21 PM iawcc/mikey: well i needs it!
11:21:25 PM iawcc/mikey: only 3 out of 12 so far
11:21:35 PM gweenyb: no I will do it
11:21:39 PM iawcc/mikey: never knew you guys hated me so much:'(
11:21:47 PM gweenyb: i just ran into this little detour
11:21:52 PM iawcc/mikey: mhmm
11:21:59 PM gweenyb: ok seriously
11:22:06 PM gweenyb: do you want me to mail you my broken camera
11:22:09 PM iawcc/mikey: lmao
11:22:10 PM iawcc/mikey: NO
11:22:16 PM iawcc/mikey: i want the friggin picture!
11:22:38 PM gweenyb: how about this i will take a picture of my broken camera on my phone and text it to you
11:22:39 PM gweenyb: will that work
11:22:45 PM iawcc/mikey: no.
11:22:50 PM gweenyb: faaaack
11:22:52 PM iawcc/mikey: <------ no cell phone anyways
11:22:54 PM iawcc/mikey: :-P
11:22:56 PM gweenyb: shit
11:22:58 PM gweenyb: damn
11:22:59 PM gweenyb: it
11:23:06 PM iawcc/mikey: mhmmm
11:23:33 PM iawcc/mikey: and so far shaz has the best picture
11:23:39 PM gweenyb: sweet
11:24:02 PM gweenyb: well what I found was a santa costume at work so I am going to incorporate the santa coat too some how
11:24:08 PM iawcc/mikey: lmao
11:24:15 PM iawcc/mikey: only if you were wearing nothing but....
11:24:17 PM iawcc/mikey: O:-)
11:24:55 PM gweenyb: i thought of then then I am like ehhhh this is going on the internet and who knows where the santa costume has been and who has sat on santa's lap I could get crabs
11:25:06 PM iawcc/mikey: =_=
11:25:25 PM iawcc/mikey: well it'd be an upgrade from the gonorrhea
11:25:26 PM iawcc/mikey: :-P
11:25:58 PM gweenyb: yeah it would be a challenge and a change from the antibiotics
11:26:03 PM iawcc/mikey: LMAO
11:26:09 PM iawcc/mikey: grosss
11:26:12 PM iawcc/mikey: stop playin along!
11:26:17 PM gweenyb: HA HA HA HA
11:26:19 PM gweenyb: you don't like it
11:26:23 PM iawcc/mikey: no
11:26:33 PM iawcc/mikey: especially since i'm having flashbacks to human bio last spring.
11:26:36 PM iawcc/mikey: :-$
11:27:14 PM gweenyb: sweet
11:27:22 PM iawcc/mikey: no
11:27:26 PM iawcc/mikey: not at all
11:27:34 PM iawcc/mikey: it's gross.
11:28:12 PM gweenyb: well i mean that it's sweet that you are being grossed out
11:28:19 PM iawcc/mikey: ...
11:28:22 PM gweenyb: hey ya wanna gross me out back
11:28:26 PM iawcc/mikey: ?
11:28:39 PM gweenyb: poop out an octopus and make sure it's claws are out
11:28:47 PM gweenyb: IT HAS TO BE A BIG ONE
11:28:53 PM iawcc/mikey: =_=
11:28:58 PM iawcc/mikey: disgusting
11:29:02 PM iawcc/mikey: completely.
11:29:33 PM iawcc/mikey: although kinda cool...
11:29:35 PM iawcc/mikey: :-P
11:29:39 PM gweenyb: see it would totally gross me out
11:29:43 PM iawcc/mikey: ahhahaa
11:29:45 PM gweenyb: i am kinda starting to shudder already
11:29:51 PM iawcc/mikey: sweet
11:30:00 PM gweenyb: it all stems from that deranged arm pit guy
11:30:06 PM iawcc/mikey: lmao
11:30:16 PM iawcc/mikey: you mean the one you skipped out on going to his wedding?
11:30:19 PM iawcc/mikey: right.
11:30:31 PM gweenyb: yeah I was umm moving into my apartment
11:30:37 PM iawcc/mikey: pffft
11:30:39 PM iawcc/mikey: excuses
11:30:42 PM gweenyb: kinda the only time i could do it for like two weeks
11:30:46 PM gweenyb: whatev
11:30:47 PM iawcc/mikey: mhmmm
11:30:48 PM iawcc/mikey: b/s
11:30:53 PM iawcc/mikey: you missed the best blogger party of all
11:31:04 PM gweenyb: i called and told him I was sorry and I also wished them good luck and congrats
11:31:06 PM iawcc/mikey: free booze
11:31:08 PM iawcc/mikey: :-P
11:31:19 PM gweenyb: I am sorry I couldn't go and drink all their wine and apple martinis
11:31:24 PM iawcc/mikey: ...
11:31:36 PM gweenyb: mmm free booze tomorrow
11:31:42 PM iawcc/mikey: nor whiskey. amaretto. beer.
11:31:51 PM gweenyb: i am so getting drunk at my work party tomarrow
11:31:59 PM iawcc/mikey: hah
11:32:05 PM iawcc/mikey: dont end up in the sack with anyone
11:32:06 PM iawcc/mikey: :-P
11:32:13 PM gweenyb: yeah i called bingo tipsy one time
11:32:17 PM iawcc/mikey: LMAO
11:32:25 PM gweenyb: yeah that doesn't happen very often
11:32:32 PM gweenyb: i tend to stay away from that
11:32:37 PM iawcc/mikey: hahaha
11:32:44 PM iawcc/mikey: good thing i don't work with ya
11:32:46 PM iawcc/mikey: ;-):-P
11:32:56 PM gweenyb: yeah good thing
11:33:05 PM gweenyb: ok I have to finish straitening my apartment
11:33:25 PM gweenyb: and since you whined a little about not posting our convos i am posting this biotch
11:33:33 PM iawcc/mikey: :-$
11:33:35 PM iawcc/mikey: which part?
11:33:40 PM gweenyb: that and I havent posted in a while
11:33:42 PM gweenyb: whole thing
11:33:47 PM iawcc/mikey: whore
11:33:49 PM iawcc/mikey: i hate you
11:33:51 PM iawcc/mikey: lol
11:33:54 PM gweenyb: you LOVE me
11:33:56 PM gweenyb: get over it
11:33:59 PM iawcc/mikey: i know
11:34:00 PM iawcc/mikey: :-(
11:34:06 PM gweenyb: see so going on the blog
11:34:06 PM iawcc/mikey: don't make it hurt worse
11:34:13 PM gweenyb: ha ha ha ha ha
11:34:26 PM gweenyb: good night i will try to get that to you soon but I have a busy weekend planned
11:34:41 PM gweenyb: it might end up being a drunk picture when it's all done
11:34:55 PM iawcc/mikey: lmao
11:34:57 PM iawcc/mikey: oh great
11:35:01 PM iawcc/mikey: you'll look better
11:35:09 PM iawcc/mikey: errrr wait, that's when i'm drunk.
11:35:22 PM gweenyb: yeah beer goggles to translate into sobriety
11:35:26 PM iawcc/mikey: hahaha
11:35:31 PM iawcc/mikey: yea yea

We aren’t blogging how we used to. I have done a very poor job tring to keep it up. VERY POOR. Check out my rants on pitt’s blog

Well not today. Today all over the news is Iranian’s conference on specifically denying the Jewish holocaust. There is probably a better term for Jewish holocaust like “Not-White Holocaust” because that is what it was. This is what the Iranian Priminister had to say reported by CNN

Ahmadinejad "wanted to say that if others harmed the Jewish community and created problems for the Jewish community, they have to pay the price themselves. People like the Palestinian people or other nations should not pay the price (for it).

The reason for the conference is mostly to give support for abolishing the state of Israel. I am having a hard time with the above argument. To me it sounds like Prop 2 in Michigan or support for terminating Affirmative Action.

There are no scholars involved in this conference, there are no victims involved, there is no truth involved.

Soooo since we are all being pissy about bloggy gossip’s most common topic relationship's, sex. and lies; I am going to start some of my own. And I mean when I say we are All being pissy I mean it as a constant state of being. Since at work I am the big lesbian and the two hickeys on my neck are from some chick. (half lie) and since this is my second Christmas alone and I am in a stable job and I am not planning on moving for a while and I have a normal…-ish life I think that I am going to start becoming open to the idea of dating again. I really haven’t for a while. I have gone on dates but doomed them from the beginning with my own attitude. I am not saying I am going to go trolling or cougering for that matter but I am not going to avoid letting it happen. But here is the catch… I have to like them back and there has to be this thing called chemistry. No more of this oh he likes me ok I’ll try it bull shit.

So now at the end of this post everyone can come to the conclusion that I am an angry lesbian who is promiscuous and can’t stand to be alone who is incredibly lonely and needs a good fuck. (total lie) let the rumors fly amoung all 5 of the people who still read this blog.

3:02:21 AM gweenyb: so the big rumor this week is that you and chad are a ting
3:02:23 AM gweenyb: thing
3:02:33 AM smelly danielly: hahahaha
3:02:39 AM gweenyb: the only reason i am telling you is that i am making a big fat joke about it
3:02:53 AM gweenyb: that really is a bad joke as jokes go
3:03:02 AM smelly danielly: why is it such a bad joke?
3:03:08 AM gweenyb: hummm chad talking about relationships
3:03:13 AM gweenyb: no my joke is bad
3:03:23 AM smelly danielly: o
3:03:24 AM gweenyb: not THE (gossip) joke
3:03:27 AM gweenyb: just mine
3:03:40 AM smelly danielly: yup got it
3:04:01 AM smelly danielly: ha thats funny
3:04:06 AM smelly danielly: i just read his blog comments
3:04:31 AM smelly danielly: very interesting how these internet folks read into things
3:04:41 AM gweenyb: no shit
3:04:46 AM gweenyb: i just made my comment
3:05:21 AM gweenyb: so girl
3:05:22 AM smelly danielly: HAHAHAHAH
3:05:29 AM gweenyb: i totally havent talked to you in forever
3:05:29 AM smelly danielly: i read your comment
3:05:31 AM gweenyb: i feel guilty
3:05:41 AM gweenyb: i have negleted my blogging friend
3:05:42 AM gweenyb: s
3:05:49 AM smelly danielly: thats ok with school i have been talking to no one
3:06:08 AM gweenyb: understandable
3:06:10 AM gweenyb: guess what
3:06:14 AM smelly danielly: what
3:06:44 AM gweenyb: now that I have gone the safe route and decided I hate psych I am going for art and marketing
3:06:47 AM gweenyb: WEEEEEEE
3:06:58 AM smelly danielly: YAYAYAYA thats so good!
3:07:01 AM smelly danielly: are you excited?!
3:07:28 AM gweenyb: EXTREMELY
3:07:35 AM gweenyb: i have always wanted to do it
3:07:53 AM smelly danielly: thats so freakin awesome
3:08:00 AM gweenyb: but my parents (who were paying for it at the time) thought it would be a good back up plan
3:08:06 AM gweenyb: NOW TIME FOR THE BACK UP PLAN
3:08:26 AM gweenyb: yeah I have so many designer friends it
3:08:31 AM gweenyb: it's not funny
3:09:59 AM gweenyb: it's hard because I keep getting encouraged and I am starting my first semester this winter
3:10:04 AM gweenyb: I can't wait
3:10:23 AM gweenyb: what's really bad is the... "you know there are design schools in chicago"
3:10:36 AM gweenyb: i think i am going to apply to duke for my marketing degree
3:11:18 AM smelly danielly: ohhhh nice!
3:11:35 AM gweenyb: yeah I am getting way ahead of myself
3:11:54 AM smelly danielly: but thats ok
3:12:06 AM smelly danielly: its sooo good to be doing something you love and are passionate about
3:13:42 AM gweenyb: finally
3:14:00 AM gweenyb: i hate having to deal with other peoples problems... i have enough of my own already
3:14:05 AM gweenyb: you know what gets me
3:14:17 AM gweenyb: is that i have met almost every one else but you and grace
3:14:37 AM smelly danielly: really!?
3:14:44 AM gweenyb: yeah really
3:14:55 AM gweenyb: well everyone comes to toronto it seems
3:15:00 AM smelly danielly: yea thats true
3:15:11 AM smelly danielly: and no one has ever met grace so that prob wont happen
3:16:22 AM gweenyb: jodie has
3:16:32 AM smelly danielly: o really?
3:16:40 AM gweenyb: and i keep meaning to run into grace but i am never in the same city as she is
3:16:55 AM gweenyb: yeah
3:17:02 AM gweenyb: jodie vacationed with her
3:17:13 AM gweenyb: i though chad and grace were close for some reason
3:17:25 AM smelly danielly: they are on the internet ish
3:17:27 AM smelly danielly: but not in person
3:18:35 AM gweenyb: yeah well that's like saying they are virtually friends
3:18:45 AM gweenyb: but aren't we all
3:19:02 AM smelly danielly: basically yea
3:19:15 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha ha ha
3:19:46 AM gweenyb: yeah the two times I hung out with the "group" i brought friends and yeah they (friends) didn't get it
3:19:50 AM gweenyb: but they are starting too
3:20:47 AM smelly danielly: yea friends dont get it boyfriends dont get it...unless you are already a part of it you just dont get it
3:21:02 AM gweenyb: next time which was supposed to be the wedding but I couldn't go it was the day I moved into my apartment
3:21:58 AM gweenyb: yeah I dated a guy who was a blogger but his blog group was so small he couldn't understand this whole toronto calgary vancover la thing
3:22:12 AM gweenyb: that and he was a total MATTHEW GOOD freek
3:22:23 AM smelly danielly: ah haha
3:22:38 AM gweenyb: yeah kinda ruined it
3:22:45 AM gweenyb: cuz really that's why we are all here
3:22:48 AM gweenyb: REALLY
3:22:58 AM smelly danielly: yea really
3:23:00 AM smelly danielly: its true
3:23:22 AM smelly danielly: unless you date someone from the crew of us its kinda hard to bring someone in and have them fully understand
3:23:34 AM gweenyb: TOTALLY
3:24:04 AM gweenyb: like i have been totally neglecting my blog and even my real friends have noticed but we are all kind of matthew good groupies in a way
3:24:44 AM smelly danielly: definitly matthew good groupies
3:24:52 AM smelly danielly: i bet thats why more then half if not all of us started
3:25:22 AM gweenyb: absolutely
3:25:33 AM gweenyb: chad grace pitt and i all started together
3:25:52 AM gweenyb: it seemed like it was the four of us then it kinda grew
3:26:09 AM gweenyb: in the beginning grace and I fought so much
3:26:20 AM gweenyb: just because we didn't see eye to eye
3:26:32 AM gweenyb: it's the whole point of blogging though
3:26:52 AM gweenyb: understanding one another's view point
3:27:04 AM smelly danielly: yea definitly
3:27:45 AM smelly danielly: hey i gotta hit the sack cause i am dead tired
3:27:53 AM smelly danielly: but keep me informed of these rumors!!!
3:28:05 AM gweenyb: ok
3:28:07 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha
3:28:16 AM gweenyb: hey tony seems pissed
3:28:20 AM gweenyb: don't ya think
3:28:23 AM smelly danielly: ??
3:28:26 AM smelly danielly: on his blog?
3:28:29 AM gweenyb: yeah
3:28:34 AM smelly danielly: i havent read in a while
3:28:46 AM gweenyb: he is using language he never uses
3:28:54 AM gweenyb: i havent read a lot of people lately
3:29:00 AM gweenyb: so you and i are in the same boat
3:29:24 AM gweenyb: hey i am thinking i will publish this on a blog
3:29:28 AM gweenyb: are you apposed
3:29:31 AM smelly danielly: AHHAHA
3:29:34 AM smelly danielly: our conversation
3:29:37 AM gweenyb: yeah
3:29:39 AM gweenyb: why not
3:30:00 AM smelly danielly: yea fo shizz
3:30:04 AM smelly danielly: be my guest!!
3:30:06 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha
3:30:16 AM gweenyb: only if you are sure
3:30:38 AM smelly danielly: yup
3:30:44 AM gweenyb: mk
3:30:46 AM smelly danielly: i havents said anything incriminating
3:30:51 AM gweenyb: look for it in like 5 minutes
3:31:01 AM gweenyb: oh so you are leaving that up to me
3:31:03 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha
3:31:09 AM smelly danielly: haha

I had this nightmare last night after an entire bottle of Gewurztraminer which I cannot pronounce, that I was pregnant after a one night stand. That is enough to commit my life to chastity. I have already had one scare that drove my mom up the wall. We are close like that. I just could never fathom telling my parents that opps I am pregnant and who's the daddy. Oh I don't know. I am breaking out in a sweat as it is. I know I am always joking about how I am never going to get married and that the best part of kids is when you send them home, buttttttttt some how that is breaking down. I get asked every day about my husband and my children. That's what happens when you work at an old folks home and they ask the same damn questions every day. I am starting to get used to the idea of tring to keep someone around for longer than that new relationship phase. The only thing is now that everyone is tring to set me up with their grandsons and their neighbors and their friends from highschool. I am just deciding that having somone around if I like them might not be a bad idea and now I have people planning my next 20 years with their 45 year old neighbor. My parents aren't even that old. Mom who is really helpful just reminded me to ask if they are married and how many kids they have. Real funny. I hope THAT never happens again.

So the topic of convo at work today was my ass. Yes it gets squezed and gropped all day long and now the aids are telling me I have a black ass. So what if I have a little junk in the trunk. Yeah it wasn't the first time I have heard that but it still feels weird knowing that as I walk away that 5 women are staring at may ass.

ok work friends are comming over have to clean the litter box

more updates on my ass in a few

The Batchlor. I only started watching it because of Joe Millionare. So here's the thing

How can they do this whole ohh you don't want me so lets hug and oh everythings alright lets hug again.

NO FUCKEN WAY. I am more of the don't touch me don't look at me don't talk to me type. The only ex of my that is not on speaking terms with me well when we went on our "Break" he was like yeah lets go to the bar. I am like fuck that, either way when we finally said enough is enough he was like don't be upset, don't ohh hug me. YOU LOST THOSE FUCKING PRIVLEDGES. and that whole don't tell me how I am supposed to feel thing.

Oh this is so rediculous. This is why I vote for the most wreched people on reality series, especially on Flava of love. Anyone who looks for love on TV should deserve a Lorina Bobbit.

That's why I look toward the silver Screne. Oh Johnny if you only knew!!!

This kinda throws a wrench into my spinstery plans

I found out last night as I was finishing my blog catch ups that an acquaintance of mine passed away a few weeks ago. She is my Craigaries old roommate who moved back here and lived only a few miles away from me. She is such an infectious person. The most beautiful woman I have ever met. Just before she passed I had my spaced her and we decided we need to start hanging out and teasing Craig that he is in grad school and we have some money.

I looked to her my space yesterday and saw a ton of "I don't know you that well" and "We only hung out a few times” like they are leaving a message on a yearbook. It's disappointing that they have to belittle the impact that this woman has on people. When you first meet her you can't help but feeling her kindness. I don't know maybe it's the aroma of the organic peanut butter or the insatiable knowledge of the OC that makes you think that this woman is something very special. I hardly think RIP is appropriate, or "Well you seemed real cool" when people are grieving.



I guess it's not for me to judge. All I know is that this woman is special, not because she passed, and not because everyone is feeling sad now, but this woman IS truely special, beautiful, kind, gifted and this world is now far worse off with out her. She would have changed the way we interacted with the world.

I think I like my skin when the christmas tree is on. It's not so umm what's that word. Yes reflective. This is the sixth christmas tree I put up since friday. The cat who is currently helping me type thinks that the tree is her own personal jungle gym. I swear if she breaks anything else in this house she is going to end up a mouser. How can a cat break two wine glasses. I have no idea I was at work and came home to a kitchen floor full of glass. I was so pissed I didn't even clean it up until today when i cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. She really didn't want me cleaning it right then. Although she is starting to learn the word "No". But she is also learning to check to see if I am in the room or paying attention before she tries to drink the fish water. i guess it's that whole flavored water thing. I am not worried about fishy fish because he keeps biting her toes. I still don't want her in there just in case. I had that fish for over two years now. It's a record in my family.

Favorite line of the day.

"You take advantage of her and you will go to that special place in hell where child molesters and people who talk in movie theaters go"

My cousin is making me watch the Firefly Series. Then she has Battlestar Galatica next. I don't mind too much. Mostly because the lady I am subleasing from forgot that she was supposed to keep the cable. Either way as long as I still get to watch The office, Desperate Housewives and Greys Anatomy I am fine.

Unfortunately I am a movie theater talker. In fact just last week I got yelled at for talking during the previews. BAD first date place. I hate when the movie doesn't even start and you are just getting settled and people already start yelling at you when you are whispering. Seriously if you are whispering (and it was a whisper) shouldn't the Dolby be loud enough that other people should leave you the fuck alone. And why not be allowed to talk during the movie. What's wrong with saying "dud his nose looks like a penis" at an Owen Wilson movie. This time it was at that one magic movie where the the first thing you see is a thouand top hats and I ask. "Are there going to be a lot of bunnies" a reasonable question.

Damn Movie Theater Nazis quit tring to hear what I am saying and watch the freeking movie.

All right so this is like my gillionth time this week that I have tried to write a blog entry. Needless to say work is f-n nutZ. with a capital Z, but not gay.


So ummm yeah. Now that I have two seconds to write my mind goes rheowaprfeowhnfjdkslajekidwa:::::;fjkdleio;::::

It's bull shit. Yeah you heard me.


My brother myspaced me today. He and my parents are really the only ones who miss me being around. And my dog I guess, and maybe my g-ma. I am going to see them this weekend and their girlfriends. This is the only thing that stinks. As much as I have learned to deal with the fact that yes my baby brothers have girlfriends. I am having a REALLY hard time watching them make out with each other and be all over eachother. IT IS GROSS. Which also makes me think ohhh did I do that when I was their age. Yeah probrably and I probrably grossed out a few family members too.

I guess I just want them to be babies again who will curl up on the couch with me at watch the Emperors New Grove.

By the way I watched bugs life alone in my apartment with the cats. I am starting to reconsider this cat lady thing that I got going.

Rummy was just tired


PPPPSSSSSHHHHHHHHH

1. Call them a looser. Yeah it works,

2. Be distracted by your big group of friends

3. Interpretive dance

4. Bet him that if he looses another game of pool that he has to buy you a drink (you would think it's a shoe-in)

5. When he comes over to talk to you suddenly notice that your friends are off dancing with out you and escape to go join them.

6. When he says he is going to your place that night dropp him off at the nearest seven eleven. (naww I just took him to his friends place)


So ummm I am supposed to have a date this afternoon from this guy I went to high school with and I am running defence by having some friends from work come and we are going to go see a really romantic movie... Borat!

Yesssss


ahh pictures will appear soon






it's not a tumor

So last night Craigary and Joshua came down and we went and saw the Foo Fighters and Bob Dylan. The night didn't turn out how I had planned it to be. It sparked some drinking when my ex boyfriend and the love of his life sat behind us. OHHH YEAH it's getting good. Talk about akward. I love how before they started going out he was calling me all the time, and then some how was tring to make amends to something that I didn't think was broken anyways. Anyways so all of that crap is going on and then Bam oh I found the woman of my dreams. And I just looked and there is no post on this. So this man disapeared the night I went to see him before I headed to central. There he is to pop up right behind me out of nowhere. The funny part was before he sat down we were tring to guess what kind of people were going to sit by us. I didn't expect that. Upon metabolizing all the beer I drank last night I have come to the conclusion that they were not happy at least not happy there. I could see him every time I turned to talk to craigary. They stormed out after Foo Fighters, which makes me believe that he has lost all of his good taste in music.

I don't know him. I don't know her. I cant say what was going on only that it was fucking weird and fucking uncomfortable, and I am fucking pissed off that Justin wasn't there at least, and I am disapointed that I couldn't get debbie on the phone last night.

DEBBIE CALL MEEEEEEE

Yess I am an ass. Why am I an ass?? Ok here it goes. I quit blogging for a while and then I was like "Yess I am ready to go" and then I put out a couple of crapy posts and stopped again. BUT i have a good reason. I just moved. Talk about busy. I know I know, I am going to get shit like "Try planning a wedding" or "Try licking your own balls". No thanks to either. So here I am sitting in this Arabic Cafe down the street from may WICKED AWESOME appartment. I just got off of the phone with the girl who is supposed to cover for me today at work. Oh why am I not working did you ask. Oh ok well I will tell you why. I am going to FRICKEN BOB DYLAN tonight. And I have a ton of people coming over and an apartment to clean and unpack. Yes I do. Lets not even get started on bob dylan though because I am flaming mad at a certain Torontoite who called me the night before the concert with an ohh I can't make it, but I called our friend and he is going to go. Yay that's not the point. Ass. Oh you will call me after the show, let see if I answer your phone calls for the next month or so. PISSED, but only in a passive agressive way.

You know what's funny I get sooo pissed off that I cant even talk and I start shaking and make these weir rooowwwaaarr sounds. Yeah kinda sounds like a cheeta with a broken leg. Seriously. So I had this dream last night that I was that mad and that frustrated. Wanna know why. Yeah it's cuz I was packing and my mom mowed the lawn right next to my knife set and that just set me off. Actually pretty typical. More so because i am ok, then ok then ok and by the 500th time something pisses me off in a single day I turn into the hulk. However, even in my dream I couldn't hit somone. I have this kind of fear that I am going to get into trouble and have to defend myself. Yeah I think my parinoid dad put that into my head. but wont be able to hit anyone. I just can't hit another person. I get that pulling away feeling even when I am angerly chucking things across the room. So what I am thinking (OH my god Ace of Base is playing in the coffee house and there's a guy smoking a ganga) anyways I think I am going to take Karate with in the next 20 years or so.... By the way check out my myspace it's got some bruce lee goodness.


On a serious note, I felt better about our government whe the stat. analysit on NPR last night said that we are setting record percentages of young people (that's me :)) at the polls and they are seeing a change in the way of thinking and a greater participation in politics and world government. That my generation sees things as the we generation and not the me generation. For some reason I can't help but think blogging has something to do with it. That for us we have some instant and tangible casual talk amoung countries via the blogosphere.

Just Saying

Wonderful day today. I love it when my boss yells at me 10 minutes into work. Either way the one lady that has been giving me trouble seems to have put away the horns and pitchfork at least for now. That and the head of nursing told me I was in the right. Funny how it seems that even if only one person tells me I am right then that is who I agree with. Either way it doesn't matter because I am right.

It actually was a good day at work, I didn't sit in pee or walk in poop and nobody bit me. I carved pumpkins and watched Rocky Horror. The new girl asked me again if I could date her son. I gave in hopefully nothing comes of it. It was all fantastic until I stepped into my car. That's when the ass of my pants ripped. Yup I have a badonk a donk. It's how I bring all the boys to the yard. Funny nearly all of my ex's have said that they are attracted to black women. And by the way these pants had that rip when I got them. The seam was just you know ripped, I could fix it. Little did I know that I would be walking into a gas station with an ass like I just took a hard one from behind. At least I had my long sweater and could pull my shirt down around my tukas.

Lets just say crazy runs in my family. And I have been dealing with a lot of crazies lately. I am tring to move into my sublease. It was supposed to be for the first of this month and now they are saying the end of this week. BS. Enough of this dear diary shit but I am so focused on myself as usual I really havent been giving too much oomph to like oh the foley shit that's going on. I love how this man first blamed alcohol then homosexuality then a preist for his own misconduct. It just boils my mind. Like ohh is not the party of family values fault. Course not but they are acting as guilty as ever. What can you expect from a holier than thou stance on everything.

That being said my form of entertainment lately is reading the men seeking women personals on craigslist. The Women seeking Men is kind of depressing with all the suicide notes on there.

Opp theres that holier than thou stance againg. It just doesn't ever go away with me. I am permenantely stuck on that mode.

Yesterday my boss asked me to take the new girl out to lunch and she told me that the waiter was hiting on me then asked if I would like her to set me up with her son. He's 21 goes to U of M and is in a fraternity. I just about shit my pants.

I am way too old for this crap, and definately way too old to be living in my parents basement. I would pull out but Justin and Craig are coming to visit me on the 2nd.

The Office is on today!!! Highlight of my week. Yesterday I got home from work two hours before bed time. I don't know how much longer I can do this but it will have to be for at least two more weeks. THEN APARTMENT TIME!!!!!

So here's the thing...

I was supposed to move into my apartment last week. Nope that's not going to happen now. But I still out of curiosity looked for a kitty. Yess I was looking for the pussy. I found these two suposidly bermese kittens you know the ones that look like halloween cats. And I am thinking perfect. Then the lady says two hundred I am like ok, but "didn't they used to give these things away to sience labratories in the kroger parking lot". So then she is like but free kitty litter and free kitty carrier and free kitty food. So I am like umm ok and since they have been dewormed and tested sure. What the hey I don't want a scroungy looser cat. So I email her for the first time asking her to tell me a little about them. Blah blah blah, kitty kitty kitty, poor me poor me poor me. A day goes buy and I get an email from this chick saying "WELL ARE YOU INTERESTED OR NOT"! and I am thinking umm lets just hope she forgot that the caps are on. Either way my Wako Jacko-dar (c) is going off. Little know fact Wako Jacko-dar (c) is also good for identifing scary cat ladies. So I type back yeah I am interested when you do need the gone by. She says "oh the end of the week". And I say no can do. Then she says oh wait not yet I guess and I say more do able. Then she says COME SIGN PAPERS NOW. Ok I am exadurating that time she wasn't so scarily fruity but the dar went off still. So I say ok how much are they again 200 for both? and she goes no 250 but in a way so I couldn't tell if she wanted 500 or 250 since there are two of them. so I am like umm but you said. and she is like 250 you idiot. So I am like oh so this loony is calling me an idiot. By the way I am having to rephrase some things because her typing is like that of a 13 year old grrl and nothing that moronic will ever go on my blog, it is far below my level of moronicness. So by the third email of me saying i want to see them, she is finally like oh tomorrow. Tomorrow at the pet store (ha ha ha ha ha) comes and goes no directions no answer to when. HERE COME THE EXCUSES "I was in the ER until 3 am", ok fine. The next day ok? "Yeah". Next day comes and goes "My aunt was in the ER" Me: "This isn't going to work out you should probrably find someone else." Crazy Cat Lady: "I am so sorry" Me (Lie): "It's not you the timing just doesn't seem to be right" Crazy Cat Lady: "Thanks for wasting my time" Me because it was too good to pass up: "No problem, next time don't be so shady and enough with the excuses, get your act together"

Free or inexpensive Kitten wanted in the detroit area: Crazy Ladies need not apply.


Oh yeah don't date a crazy cat lady, they must be aweful to break up with.

Moved back home to “Pack” while I wait until the apartment I am subletting opens up. For some reason the end of the week changed to the 24th which is just so super!!! It’s Friday night and I can’t wait to go home and sleep. There is all this talk about sex lately for some reason and seriously I am not really comprehending it. Being surrounded by other’s excrements is not my Idea of sexy. Maybe I need a sexier job. As erotic as a saggy butt and senior nudists are, I am just in no mood. Oh by the way I had to convince Justins roommate again on how I have no intention of screwing Justin. Why can’t men and women just be friends, is it that unheard of??

Oh yeah I am learning pirate,

Moved back ship t' “Pack” while I wait 'til th' apartment I be sublettin' opens up. Fer some reason th' end o' th' week changed t' th' 24th which be jus' so super!!! It’s Friday night 'n I can’t wait t' go ship 'n sleep. Thar be all this talk about sex lately fer some reason 'n seriously I be nah really comprehendin' it. Bein' surrounded by other’s excrements ain't me Idea o' sexy. Maybe I needs a sexier job. As erotic as a saggy booty 'n senior nudists are, I be jus' in no mood. Oh by th' way I had t' convince Justins roommate again on how I 'ave no intention o' screwin' Justin. Why can’t scallywags 'n strumpets jus' be mates, be it that unheard o'??

Oh yeah I be learnin' pirate,



Actually I just found a pirate translator widget on my laptop

I don't even want to talk about the tigers game!

I always seem to write the best on the road and then forget my subject at the next stoplight. I write well when I am pissed. Sometimes it’s best when I am not paying attention and writing in a freestyle like now. Not saying that this is going to be worth reading at all. I feel sometimes when I used try to be funny that I had to keep up the funnyness. I know that I am not funny and those who think I am funny constitute a very small group of like minded individuals who basically point and laugh. In the blogger world it’s sometimes like you are the ape at an interactive circus and the crowd yells “Dance Monkey Dance” and they don’t quite understand that you are not a monkey that you are an ape and there is a difference. The difference doesn’t matter.

No more blogger bashing. No more bashing period at least for the moment. This neat little community that I have been apart of for the past 2 years hasn’t been the prime substance of my social life and if it were I would be one sad individual. However it has been an interesting little experiment. Something that I never thought I would be into. Yeah I had a live journal but it was just among friends. I feel recharged a bit and ready to be a decent blogger. I came on to the scene at roughly the same time as Pitt and Grace did. Although the opinions and comments left here may seem insignificant, in other ways the seem to be the world. Cue the organ music so I can begin my dance again.

So old people LOVE their Kenny Rodgers. I think my grams not cancer grams squirts every time she hears him or sees Denzel. My grandpa is extremely racist, has gotten better in recent years but has a fit because my grandmother is attracted to black men. Don’t ask me now I know this because I have spent the past 14 years tring to forget these little things that she has inappropriately told me. Where was I going with this???

Oh so KR sings that song on the Big Lebowski. See what condition my condition is in. Yeah that one. So I see these ladies grooving just about ready to throw their depends at the old guy with a white beard that doesn’t even resemble KR and I I can think of is Jeff bridges floating in a sea of breasts and what’s her name I forgot and am lazy who was on boogie nights. Then PSH being fantastically homosexual. That’s when I fall back into reality where Julieanne More yep that’s here is not a vikingess and does not do weird nudist paintings. Or maybe she does? Who knows anything can happen!!!

Yeah those broads fighting, ripping the hair out, begins to look like snow. Dentures flying gums flapping skin all leathery and mostly gooey. Beautiful. No really other than the gums flapping part mostly it’s just verbal. I seem to be breaking up a lot more fights here than at the homeless shelter. No passive aggressiveness here. It’s full on mean nastyness. Stop looking at me, stop breathing on me. FULL CARD “H”. There is no such philosophy as pick your battles. There was a full out war over bingo the other day. At least once a day “R” leaves the room muttering under her breath.

There aughta be a movie about this stuff. Priceless

Ugh

Great weekend

Not a great week so far. I am doing it to myself but i always worry like that when i am told that my g-ma is sick again. They used to not even tell me but then I got furious. Their excuse... There's nothing you can do about it anyway.

Going to see Man of the Year tonight.

I need to laugh and be pissed off. Good movie for that.

oh yeah

TIGERS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS

I get to see them whomp on the Blue Jays. My grandfather played for the bluejays a million years ago.

yes for free association

Great weekend. I got to meet Grimshaw for the first time but considering he was my insomnia buddy for like 3 months it felt more like a reunion. Pitt proclaimed Ji-had or however you spell that. Raymi was in a rap off with a wannabe bad ass chick, how bad ass can you be when your hair is in a pony tail... I'm just say-n. Tony was a racist, I didn't think it was possible for minorities. The Outlaw brought a posse with her. And Chad well was a bit drunk. Luckily enough he was sitting on the other side of Mike and I had a camera ready. I don't think I took a picture that he wasn't making a goofy ass face in. Px was as hospitible and polite as can be.

I ended up concocting some kind of chicken meal for a very frightened Justin. He enjoyed meeting people but one on one is more his scene. It's kind of weird I think this is the first time in a while that he wasn't naked and screaming in a complete nonsexual way or lighting things on fire. I am so glad that he finally met you guys. He being from parkdale was turned on to raymi but really who isn't.

It was a great weekend until I returned home to find that one of the most important people in my life is going into sugery on tuesday and with her there is a chance she won't make it. I might drive home monday night to be with her. If you pray please keep my grandmother in your thoughts and prayers. It helps spirtually if anything.

links coming soon I am being lazy

MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR NEXT SATURDAY.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.

So next Saturday at 4 pm. eastern time all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.

Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America .
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on.

Going to see US vs. John Lennon, Can’t wait!!!!


In other news ,Hugo Chavez called Bush the Devil. At least someone is telling it like it is. I love that he commented about how Bush walks around like he owns the place. That is such an American thing. We have a tendency to lack a certain politeness that people with our earthly benefits should have. For the most part we are all warm and we can eat food that doesn’t kill us (however choose to eat it anyways, why do they still make Twinkies?) We don’t have to worry for the most part for being murdered for no other reason than the fact that we were born of certain ethnicity. We have greater reasons to murder someone. They have sweet Michael Jordan Sneakers and I don’t. Bang Bang.

What really urks me is that the guy to killed Proof in a Det. Night Club is probably only going to get weapons charges because proof killed his cousin a few nights earlier. Granted the Det. Police is at fault because this known murder freely went to a night club and the DA is at fault for dropping charges because the first murder “Deserved it”. Yes now we are getting into Capital Punishment. Since when did two wrong ever make a right. Since when have we ever been given the permission to take a life. You pro-lifers out there judging innocence. Death is death is Death. People, my self included should be angery at the death that is on their hands. It is our privilege living in the US or Canada.

Arrrrrr

National Talk like a Pirate Day

Maybe the best day on earth next to March 11th or October 31st.


I wanna marry a pirate. That or pillage a ship. Does anyone remember how last year a cruise ship was attacked by pirates???

Arrr

I need to pillage something! Ohh the candy stash!!!

In ten minutes my day went from ugh to OH MY GOD This isn’t happening. Being 30 minutes late wasn’t good, nor was it good that I woke up 10 minutes after I was supposed to leave for work. About 10 minutes after getting to work I completely bit it in the Foyer right outside the office and by all the windows. However I don’t think anyone saw. I don’t mind if someone saw, I just look like a big jackass today. At lunch I couldn’t find my keys and then around 2 the OM came to tell me that my car is running outside oh yeah and it was locked. I seem to have forgotten to turn off the car in my rush to clock in. So my car is below E and the Tow Truck is 30 minutes late. While I was calling AAA one of the ladies there was being a cranky old bitty and pissing me off. So what did I do. I was short with the group for about 15 minutes, I spoke louder and I answered questions quickly and loudly. The whole room caved in, everyone became combustible for that time being until I brought up the virtue of being patient.

Now if only this god damned Tow truck would get here.


I tried posting a picture but it won't do it

I am making myself a promise. That promise is to try not to be a sucky blogger as some people say and “drop off the face of the earth”

Commandment I Thou shalt comment on others blogs.

Commandment II Thou shalt not say stupid shit

Commandment III Thou shalt blog every day

Commandment IV Thou shalt publish funny pictures

Commandment V Thou shalt take pictures wherever you go

Commandment VI Thou shalt not forget photo usb cable.

Commandment VII Thou shalt purchase new usb cable when you can’t get your old one and not be a cheep ass.

Commandment VIII Thou shalt not forget power chord at work and not finish all commandments.

I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog,I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog, I will not neglect the blog,

Quicky while everyone is exercising with the PT. She is the only one I have kinda made friends with here. I am excited because we are supposed to go for drinks next week. I haven't really had a night off since I got here. Damn church in the morning. I really need to find some night masses.

I have been apartment hunting like crazy. I have shifted my focus though from southfeild to closer to detroit where I go to school. I think my mom will go nuts. I still don't see why everyone is so afraid of Detroit.

Who is more Bad Ass?

Paris Hilton or Fitty Cent!

PARIS HILTON no Doubt!!










How is this you say? Fitty Cent got arrested for not paying car insurance, not registering his lambourgini and for not getting his drivers license renewed. At least Paris was drunk driving and spent the night in the drunk tank. Yeah yeah yeah 50 has been shot like 10,000 times and he grew up in the hood. Paris Hilton lost her dog, she left her Tinkerbell at a relatives for weeks, imagine loosing one of your 5,000 fashionable furry accessories for a week. Can you imagine the heart break. It has only made her stronger. You remember the number 1 cause of celebrity break-ups…

Catching vd from Paris Hilton.

I wonder if anyone is too rich to get aids, or genital warts. I GUESS WE WILL SEE!!!

MAYBE Paris can use her new Thug Appeal to sell more CD's

I saw Hollywoodland last night, and don’t waste your time. It was just alright, maybe it was because I scarfed the chicken pesto or my sleepyness but it didn’t move me at all. I am loving Detroit and that’s what counts. I have been apartment searching and although I would love to grab one in midtown I think my family would freek. They seem to be afraid of their own shadow and much more afraid of diversity. My dad bought me pepper spray and would ask me daily if I had it with me when I started school at Wayne. I lied a lot then.

I decided a while ago that I am not going to live my life with the fear that is held so tightly with many people. What is a life like in a cardboard box. I have a notion after living in small town MIDWEST. No thank you!

One thing about living in my aunts house it makes me really think about my life and who I am. I have to think all the time about who I am and what is acceptable to me, something that I don’t do enough. I think often about my faith and why I believe what I believe and why I don’t what I don’t. Mass on Sunday spoke about how just believing isn’t enough but it is a lifestyle. As if you are perpetually on a strict soul diet. I think I do well most of the time then as soon as I feel like I am doing ok I realize that there is another area of my life that needs incredible help.

In the next few years I am hoping to leave the service/helping field which is a huge part of my identity. Will I lose my values if I my occupation is not to help others. I am getting this itchy feeling at the base of my neck now that I am no longer working for a non-profit but a family owned company. What will happen if I ever really work for a corporation, will I lose my values what will change about me, will I have the same kind of satisfaction? Will I have the same kind of satisfaction!

In other news I have never had my ass grabbed as much I have now. Those dirty old ladies.

I wanted to write about how I missed out on some great food by drinking my slimfast and eventually eating some of a really bad phillycheese stake and missing out on great ethnic food. I also wanted to write about how I got to see some really great artists and speak with a few of them. I took business cards of those who I want to decorate my apartment with. That is once I win the lottery, but really art is one thing that rarely depreciates if you take care of it. Then I wanted to talk about hearing Blessed Union of Souls live and how I used to slow dance to their songs in High School. Or how I have seen The Verve Pipe now 3 or 4 times and I was not as impressed this time. Or how Marky Mark had Brian Vander Ark a Michigan native sing all his the vocals for him in Rockstar. Or how much I love Brian Vander Ark and am kind of disappointed. I could write about how I am excited to see Ziggy Marley on Monday, or how all the ladies at work don’t understand why I don’t want to get married.

In stead I will talk about how I got pulled over tonight for drunk driving. Don’t worry I was not drunk infact I was well below the legal limit but I was nervous as all hell. I took a breathalizer and all the time I kept thinking, I am going to get fired I am going to get fired I am going to get fired. I had 4 drinks in a matter of 6 hours, 4 festival drinks where they measure the shots with eyedroppers and I hadn’t felt a buzz all night. I was actually kinda pissed because I drank early so it would go through my system and I never felt a thing. Now I get pulled over because of a stupid one way sign that I didn’t see. At least the officer was really nice about it and understood. I was nervous as all hell though, this coming from the girl who DOES NOT get into trouble.

I had dinner with some girlfriends from high school. The food was terrible, the conversation was matrimonial and it took us until after dinner to start talking about dildos.

I miss my girls. I have few friends around here, nothing like what it was like 5 years ago. It’s hard making friends after kindergarden. In kindergarden everyone played nice, nobody wanted to be mean to one another and coloring inside the lines was very important, unless it was a coloring book you didn’t like.

I don’t feel lonely, I feel very busy infact it just there is an absence of friendly faces. I live in an area now that is like 500,000 time larger than the small town I grew up in. I like the faces they are full of opportunity. I just hope it’s friendly opportunity.

New Template

That's all you are getting from me tonight, besides I am watching one of the best movies ever made

Yup that's right

V for Vendetta

I wanna puke I must sleep for at least 12 hours...

Yup that's about how it goes. Nausia is awesome. Day out on the boat.. um I don't think so.

I am also blogsucking... It might have to do with the level brain activity around me lately or it may have to do with the fact that I am busy as hell and spend 2 hours of my precious time driving. Yup I think that might be it. I can't wait until I can move into my new place. It's going to be awesome!!!!

I am tring to type really quick before I get mobed by bingo players.

Food has been a huge issue this past week. Midwesterners like their food. They like their food so much that it doesn't matter what the food really tastes like as long as they have a lot of it. This has been the biggest issue in my family for a while.

I like to cook... I love to cook. I have tried to cook for my parents but when I cook I don't like to cook hambergers or speghetti I like to try something new that tastes different. I don't make huge portions either. I don't like to eat until I explode.

I cooked for my aunt, uncle and cousin the other day and it was my style cooking. They told my parents about it at my g-ma's b-day and they were like ewww...

Then my brother proceeded to tell my aunt that I am a bad cook. My aunt loved it and the chef wars have begun. We will see what they have in store for me this week. It's supposed to be very competitive. My cousin is a prof. chef/accountant

I have 10 minutes before the Cafe closes and I spent most of my internet time talking on the phone with Mr. Brown so I wasn't paying attention to anything else. This does mean that there will be more spelling and gramatical mistakes than normal. Lets see, I have read blogs but I havent commented yet and I found that MSN and ICQ are both downloaded onto my computer, how peculiar is that. So I don't feel so bad about cruising the internet. I am kinda pissed that yet again I havent gotten anything done. :(

Sooo today we started talking about mens club again at work which is just kind of something special for the dementia guys and they all kinda decided that they want dancing girls at their first meeting back. And they didn't like the idea of one of the other residents dancing they wanted professionals. So if anyone is willing to dance for some bingo prizes the auditions are being held in room 320b at 8 o'clock and bringing a bottle of port might be wise.

I saw little miss sunshine by the way, which would be a good renter especially if you feel that everyone around you is nuts.

Like one of my ladies said the other day, I may be crazy but I am not mad.

By far my favorite quotes of the past week are "B4 or after", B7 I wanna go to heaven" "B-9 will you be mine" "I 30 You're so Dirty"

Nobody else seems to think it's funny, but none of the old people have any patience.

By the way I totally want a rascle to run around work with. If just to torment the wheelchair bound in my quickness to manuver.

So in the past week I applied for a job moved started a new job while tring to shuffle midnights and Days.

I lived a month in 6 days so far. I AM SOOOOO HAPPY AT MY NEW JOB. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to hop on the internet for a little while. The bad part is that I had to drive 20 minutes to find some wireless today because my aunt doesn't have the internet and my job keeps me SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BUSY I cann't emphasize that enough but I love it.

So I will not be updating as much and will try to write posts through out my time and just post them all at once or something... I don't know

We will see how it goes. Hopefully I can move in a month or so. I get to paint my walls I am thinking islad theme.

Yeah

Island.

Fox News negotiating with Terrorists????


but isn't that only perpetuating terrorist acts????



Bunch of big talkers when their own people aren't directly involved.

It has become clear to my employers that I will be leaving and they aren't happy. They are even starting to be mean. Oh well. I think they were just kissing my ass as of late so I wouldn't abandon them and I wasn't going to until now. I still have some people here who have my back though. Thank goodness.

About a week ago i took my Grandma for Chinese and my fortune said that I will soon receive the gift of content, my grandmothers was "you are surrounded by those who idolize you". Maybe it's just me and maybe I shouldn't but I had always seen signs as gifts of little arrows. I also don't take all little notes as signs especially those that are found in astrology section of the newspaper or forced into a cookie. This one I kept, this one kind of glowed when I took it out of the cookie and for some reason the cookie tasted better.

Hopefully I am not imagining anything or being more flighty than usual.

I need a break from this depression machine. My mom told me yesterday in passing that she is very happy that I am not working with this population anymore and that my new job has less social work to it. She told me she could tell I am becoming bitter and that I have lost that little hop to my step. Yay no more filing 3200 Protective Services forms. Yay no more parents telling me how they are going to beat their kids. Yay no more bratty teenagers running away from home because Mom or Dad wouldn’t buy them the video game they wanted.

Tonight is my last night here… It’s a weird feeling


oh yeah and enjoy...


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...

So I got a Real Job... You are reading the blog of a Professional Fun Have-r. Or an Activities Director. And Since I have this awesome job and everything whatever, I decide to be truely amazing and not go crazy so, I am also going to have to have a second job. I start looking and whatev and this is what I see under the Non-profit Sector. Ahhh LARPER's playing on Craigs List. How do I heart thee?

Do you have an earnest desire to save the world?
Then that's enough.
Do you have unique martial, psychic, magical or other abilities?
That's even better.

This is not an RPG, a LARP, or any other form of roleplaying--it's the real thing. A chance to embrace your true self, and put that earnest desire to work.

The Nameless Few, a small group of aspiring superheroes and world-savers, is looking for those who want to prevent the apocalypse, discover more about the hidden aspects of our world, or simply learn more about themselves and their powers.

We are loosely affiliated with the Justice Society of Justice in Indianapolis (go to http://www.myspace.com/deaconaeon for more information.)

I, myself, am Foxfire, an urban shaman seeking to raise awareness of the non-mundane, and to prevent a cataclysmic world event from occurring. Working with me are several others.

However, we can't reach these goals alone.

Do you want to...

Learn about your inherent ability to change the world with your Will?
Connect with other levels of reality?
Shift the course of events away from cataclysm and repression, and toward freedom of thought?

Then join us.

Drop me a line; we'll be holding interviews all summer.

There's no pay--only the greatest pay of all, the ability to make a real difference in the world.

Leave mundanity behind, and embrace your inner superhero--help the Nameless Few save the world!

Sincerely,
Foxfire

Makes me laugh.

Ya down with OPP, yeah YOU KNOW ME!!!

That was the phrase of the evening.

At least after the rookie Ontario Providential Police pulled my cousins over for being on the jet skis close to Ontario Waters.

Flippin OPP had no clue what to do with them… the water weenies.

It didn’t stop the drink-a-thon or me telling racist jokes to my cousins asian and latino friend. But it was all in good fun. We decided there isn’t enough white people jokes. I feel left out, although we could tell mic or pollock jokes, it’s just not the same.

Jet Ski-ing, Swimming and Freckling

no time for blogging!!

Lata SUCKAS

1:51:25 AM Craigary: So, my brain is getting messed up
1:51:38 AM gweenyb: what did you do
1:51:45 AM Craigary: The last three movies Ive watched are as listed...
1:52:05 AM gweenyb: mk
1:52:16 AM Craigary: Martch of the Penguins....V for Vendetta.....About Last Night (a lame romantic comedy from the 80's)
1:52:34 AM Craigary: i keep watching incredibly different movies
1:52:46 AM gweenyb: ummm YEAH
1:52:52 AM Craigary: I mean seriously, penguins to Vendetta?? who does that kinda thing?
1:53:32 AM gweenyb: CRAIGARY
1:54:06 AM gweenyb: somehow i am watching the members of nsync being umm funny
1:54:10 AM gweenyb: like i am laughing
1:54:19 AM gweenyb: and lance bass is kissing a girl
1:54:22 AM Craigary: are you STONED!
1:54:22 AM gweenyb: wow
1:54:27 AM Craigary: LMAO!
1:54:32 AM gweenyb: no
1:54:34 AM gweenyb: i am at work
1:54:34 AM Craigary: kissing a girl? did he brace himself?
1:54:57 AM gweenyb: it looked like it took him a while to gather the stomach
1:55:02 AM gweenyb: nooo i am joking
1:55:35 AM gweenyb: ohhh star track next next next generation
1:55:43 AM Craigary: do you remember that old flash video "which bsb is gay"?
1:55:55 AM gweenyb: nope
1:55:59 AM Craigary: oh
1:56:01 AM gweenyb: let me guess
1:56:05 AM gweenyb: joey fatone
1:56:11 AM gweenyb: FATone
1:56:13 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha
1:56:15 AM gweenyb: i am so funny
1:56:20 AM Craigary: it was to the theme "I want it that way" but it was "which backstreet boy is gay"
1:56:31 AM gweenyb: the korean dudes
1:57:30 AM gweenyb: so how are you
1:57:52 AM Craigary: im doing alright....the apartment is a bit steamy but all's good
1:58:10 AM gweenyb: steamy... see that's what happens when you have too much sex
1:58:22 AM gweenyb: the juices add to the humidity
1:58:29 AM Craigary: no sex going on here
1:58:37 AM Craigary: stupid lack of sex *grumbles*
1:58:38 AM gweenyb: what what what
1:58:46 AM gweenyb: OH DON'T EVEN START
1:58:50 AM Craigary: the girl is near death
1:58:58 AM gweenyb: ohhh wow
1:59:08 AM Craigary: she has, what her doctor called "the worst case of swimmer's ear I've ever seen"
1:59:15 AM gweenyb: what kinda herpies did you give the poor lass
1:59:17 AM gweenyb: ahhh i see
1:59:21 AM Craigary: she's running a fever and her ears have been swollen shut for a day
1:59:24 AM gweenyb: yuck
1:59:27 AM Craigary: like, she's about deaf
1:59:28 AM gweenyb: herpies of the ear
1:59:31 AM Craigary: LOL
1:59:37 AM gweenyb: yuck
1:59:39 AM Craigary: i fucked um good!
1:59:45 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha
1:59:58 AM Craigary: but yeah, her mom is a nurse so she went home to have mommy take care of her
2:00:09 AM gweenyb: shes deaf that just means she cant hear you calling her a bitch while you give it from beind
2:00:14 AM gweenyb: yeah i know i am sorry
2:00:23 AM gweenyb: but it seemed like it had to be said for some reason
2:00:33 AM gweenyb: ahhh i see
2:01:19 AM Craigary: lol, i leave the cpu for a second and i come back to 4 weird ass comments from you
2:01:20 AM Craigary: lol
2:01:34 AM gweenyb: yeah it's the midnights talking
2:02:09 AM gweenyb: you asked if I am stoned and well it's pretty close
2:02:16 AM Craigary: LOL
2:02:22 AM Craigary: tired = stoned
2:02:23 AM gweenyb: so this girl i used to know called and asked me for my pee
2:02:28 AM gweenyb: something like that
2:02:29 AM Craigary: holy shit!
2:02:36 AM Craigary: haha, that's awesome
2:02:57 AM gweenyb: after thinking about it I wanna get really drunk and give that to her
2:03:31 AM Craigary: or just pee in a cup and poor alcohol directly into it
2:03:41 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha ha
2:03:49 AM Craigary: "Um, your blood is sixty percent alcohol....you arent human"
2:04:04 AM gweenyb: i was told to use the dogs urine but she won't get caught with that
2:04:11 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha ha
2:04:48 AM Craigary: man, i swear if im ever the boss of somewhere and my employees smoke pot, i wont care
2:04:51 AM Craigary: seriously
2:05:36 AM Craigary: unless im managing a pizza place, in which case ill enforce a no-drug policy just to be non-conformist
2:06:29 AM gweenyb: well and to avoid loss of revenue due to an attack of the muncies
2:07:19 AM gweenyb: i wonder how often the narc division has to shoot or snort up on the job
2:07:41 AM Craigary: prolly daily
2:07:47 AM Craigary: they bust people to get a fix
2:08:08 AM gweenyb: ha ha ha i bought super troopers the otherday
2:08:22 AM gweenyb: broken lizard has a new movie coming out about beer
2:08:22 AM Craigary: "Hey! You! Bear Fucker!!!"
2:08:27 AM Craigary: beerfest
2:08:33 AM gweenyb: yes
2:08:57 AM gweenyb: i like the... who want's a mustache ride??
2:08:57 AM Craigary: you know what movie im dying to see!!!!!!!!!!OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
2:09:06 AM gweenyb: let me guess
2:09:10 AM gweenyb: miss sunshine
2:09:12 AM Craigary: Two words....
2:09:14 AM Craigary: Ricky
2:09:15 AM Craigary: Bobby
2:09:19 AM gweenyb: HA HA HA HA HA HA
2:09:22 AM Craigary: awww hell yeah!
Craigary canceled the transfer of IMG_2291.JPG (2:10:03 AM)
2:10:10 AM gweenyb: BASTARD
2:10:21 AM gweenyb: i was showing you pictures of me with ricky bobby
2:10:23 AM Craigary: sorry, try again
2:10:34 AM Craigary: i didnt know what it was...i thought it was a pop up
2:10:47 AM gweenyb: nope
2:10:55 AM gweenyb: my brother took it so it's a bad pick
2:11:04 AM gweenyb: but I took this months ago
2:11:09 AM gweenyb: i thought it was so awesome
2:11:16 AM Craigary: dude, it ddint work
2:11:19 AM gweenyb: and i had to stop everyone and be a jackass
2:11:21 AM gweenyb: damn
2:11:31 AM Craigary: im on my roommates cpu and i think he has anti-everything
2:11:34 AM gweenyb: it's not awesome enough to send a third time
2:11:40 AM gweenyb: ahhh i see
2:11:49 AM gweenyb: you need to get a puter
2:12:02 AM gweenyb: you a grad student and you don't have a laptop
2:12:04 AM gweenyb: whats the deal
2:12:06 AM Craigary: i have one...he's currently fixing the shit out of it
2:12:13 AM Craigary: well, i have a desktop
2:12:27 AM gweenyb: yeah that you got from sara number 1
2:13:12 AM Craigary: no, i got a new one a while back but i never had internet to use it on
2:13:29 AM gweenyb: ahhh
2:13:31 AM Craigary: then last sememster it worked for a few weeks and crapped out and now he's working on it when he has time
2:13:43 AM gweenyb: i see
2:13:46 AM gweenyb: hey guess what
2:13:51 AM gweenyb: you are going to be jealous
2:13:55 AM gweenyb: really jealous
2:14:02 AM gweenyb: like you will want me to take you with me
2:14:03 AM Craigary: of????
2:14:10 AM Craigary: take me, gwen
2:14:27 AM gweenyb: i got tickets to see Billy Ray Cyrus
2:14:32 AM gweenyb: they were a gift
2:14:36 AM Craigary: OMFG!!!!!!!
2:14:41 AM Craigary: throw eggs
2:14:56 AM gweenyb: well i want to wear my dads mullet wig
2:16:08 AM Craigary: hide eggs in your mullet
2:16:37 AM gweenyb: naww there has to be something better to throw than eggs
2:16:44 AM gweenyb: like knives or something
2:16:57 AM Craigary: LOL
2:17:28 AM Craigary: "Billy Ray Cyrus killed by throwing knives"
2:17:36 AM Craigary: id frame that headline
2:18:18 AM gweenyb: that's still pretty lame
2:18:34 AM gweenyb: i am thinking something more along the lines of rabid pussy cats
2:18:52 AM Craigary: or hungry sharks!
2:18:53 AM gweenyb: knives would do the trick but leave out that pinash

So I got the weirdest phone call today. It’s not something that surprised me, or anything that I had to give some thought to. But it is something that I had expected sooner in my life than at 24 years old. A friend of mine from high school, well actually a woman that hangs out in my crowd because we have never really been that great of friends called me today and asked me for my pee. That would have been the temptation right there to go and get stoned then give her the pee. Or even gotten really drunk before giving her pee.

Maybe it’s just me but when you are asking for other people’s excrements you have a problem.

After discussing this with another friend I found out that I am not the only one she asked and this is not the first time she has asked this. Call me a hater but it just feels so wrong in many different ways. One of the things I do is work with kids who have substance abuse issues. She works for the Local Community Mental Health. At least I think she does.

Does this mean that I am self-righteous… probably. I may seem a sour hater instead.

Someone in my neighborhood just got wireless... how awesome is that!!!

Grace tagged me who was tagged by Tony:

Five things in my parents freezer which is my freezer too because I live in their basement:
1. Bag-o-chicken
2. Poppers
3. Key-Lime Chicken Leggs
4. Frozen Tomatoes
5. Ice

Five things in the closet: Ohhh no closeset how about what used to be in my closet
1. Baseball Mitt
2. Paper Lanterns
3. Hair Dye
4. Box of files
5. Box of cd's

Five things in the car:
1. A bone pillow
2. Perfume
3. Tanning Lotion
4. Purell
5. A blue sun deflector thinggy

Five things in my backpack: no backpack how about purse

1. Ipod
2. tampons
3. lipstick
4. hair thinggys
5. passport

I tag Patz, Mike G, and Smelly

It’s like a thousand degrees out approaching midnight what do you do?

Go to the beach like every other hooligan.

It’s a nice glowing black from the lights of the city, like someone turned down the dimmer switch but just enough so that the floating cities just grazing us completely light up the water.

The lake floor barely had any rocks on them but Justin searched for any that he could find so he could stuff them in his underwear.

The water was amazingly like bathwater except for the occasional warm spot which we blamed on josh.

I finally saw Pirates last night and walked away a little disappointed. It was a great story and looked wonderful. The one liners were a little hokey and the delivery was less than expected. But since I was the last person on earth to see the movie you already knew that.

Tomorrow I am watching a preview of Miami Vice. I am pretty sure it will suck, but I am hoping to see Colin Ferrel’s ass at some point and it will make the free tickets worth while.

I also watched Good Night and Good luck last night, it was a night of awesome movies, and it pissed me off. Whether it’s a good thing or not I have been trying to stay away from those things that make my eyes blood shot and my skin rash up. I get so angry at the way things work around here that it completely ruins any hope of me being a happy person. I am already souring and becoming bitter from work as it is. I just don’t want to hear any more heart ache when I am not in direct contact with it. If that makes me a bad person than so be it. My mom is constantly saying that I have done enough that my conscious should be clear but that Catholic guilt still creeps in. Or maybe it’s that White Middle Class Female guilt, or it could be the I voted but still couldn’t change the course of history guilt. I wish I had a greater capacity in my soul.

Maybe loosing it in a card game was not the greatest Idea.

I took the kids to Comerica Park, I still call it Tigers stadium. Because my grandfather was an engineer at Fords he used to take me to games when I was a tyke. I loved it, I know I was impatient and was more interested in the crowd than the game but, I still loved it. These kids I took kept complaining that they were bored and had more fun playing with their cell phones than taking in the experience. The one also tried to make fun of me because I like a lot of the buildings and houses in Detroit. It is a beautiful city. Give it another 10 years and everyone will move back into the city.



At the game you could definately tell we were in the "Donated" seats section. One of the perks for working at the shelter. There was a group from an adult foster home in front of us and they got up and moved around at least 100 times during the game. In the games bigges play one of the held their pizza box sideways right in front of my face.



Hopefully I will be giving work my two week notice on monday.

It was my cuz's 24th birthday. Small town mid-west there were 5 cousins in my graduating class of 164. Socially under-developed because I couldn't date in high school. Same principles when "having fun" with someone that frequents my favorite bar.




we found a midget for the second drinking night in a row... somehow not good enough though. I swear she came up to my calf.





Crazy things happen at the gay bar...





For some reason I decided to put on the red-ist lips I could find.








Just becaue I am always behind the camera and I never have pics of me

I swam since I could walk. I am much more graceful fully submerged. I can rocket out of water and up onto walls faster than some people can jump into the pool. For years my hair was green and I couldn’t hide the chlorine smell no matter how many showers I took. I have sun spots all along my back camouflaged as freckles from my hours pacing back and forth along the pool walls. I didn’t have long hair until two years after I hung up my goggles and the site of body hair still grosses me out. I am just starting to loose the muscle mass in my thighs that give them that unusual bulk. I am no longer mistaken as a male and my arms and shoulders have lost their tone. I was considered suspect in high school.

I miss it so much.

I just applied to be a swim teacher. I think I will take a walk down to the beach tonight

So my mom broke her ass. Which intern meant that the ass jokes are just flying around the last couple of days referring to swollen asses, getting ass, padding on asses and so on and so forth. That being said my mom who is pretty nazi-ish in the first place (I can say that I am German) has gone into full-blown Hitler mode. I have gotten little done that I wanted to do but have been more motivated on my job search and have cut my two days off this week to one. I have also figured out a way to move out whether I am full time or not. It will be worth it.

The kids are going to have so much fun with me today. I am working on about 4 hours sleep and woke up to an evil dictator wanting her flower beds weeded about thirty minutes ago. I am a little cranky right now and will definitely need a nap before going into work.

Diary of not quite a groupie…

So I am trading one best friend for another… I can’t believe Debbie is moving to Chicago… Well I can’t believe that I am still not done with school, racked up this much debt, and not able to get into my chosen profession. I was supposed to graduate from college three years ago. Either way It’s going to be difficult not being in the same city as my best friend when we have been nearly inseperable since the 4th grade. About 15 years. Wow.

This just means though that I have no Excuse to visit Chi town now.

In other news I did not get the job I desperately want. But looking back on that why do I want it. Because it would move me out of my parents basement sooner. That same day I found an add for an Activities Director for a Retirement home. Do I really want to work in a Juvenile Detentions center. When I started looking for a different place to work my mom said that she was happy I would be getting out of the shelter. That she was afraid it was making me bitter. I that that is more so because I don’t want to get married that I want to live in sin and would rather rent an apartment than buy a house. Sound familiar Foxxy??

So I am now getting excited that I don’t know where my life is going but it’s going to be unfamiliar and it’s going to be a test of my survival skills. (I didn’t go through years of challenge club for nothing. If there is a wall to climb I can do it, and I also know how to camp with out leaving any trace that I was there. Useful in the big city) I am going to have to be competitive and I am going to have to be alert. I won’t be able to rationalize everything and I am going to have to not like some people. I can’t be everyones friend and I can’t allow myself to be walked all over.

This year has been interesting.

I am so the winner of 5,000 questions today, I must be because I never lost my turn, even when I said I wasn’t going to answer them anymore. LOVE the double shifts.

Most of the kids that I have spent my entire weekend with are going home tomorrow. My favorite quote of the day ::ponder ponder ponder:: “Fred, (that’s me) I am feeling Purple today” I changed houses to work my second shift and spoke to john today. He works in a different residential facility and broke up a few fights today, I gladly told him my biggest problem was a kid splashing in the pool as I was tanning well freckling really. For a while I have been trying to get them to connect for years. It would be the perfect tan but it looks as that isn’t going to happen.

The good news is that I am tring to let people be human and screw stuff up and instead of writing them off like I normally do I have allowed for not just an explaination but a conversation.

The other good news is that I found a video for Leslie and the LY’s.

The best news is that I am going to the Keith Urban concert, honeymoon… What the Hell is a honeymoon

I took Maggie Doodle up to my mom’s work today for lunch. We walked down and got the best Coney Dogs in the world. We walked over on the board walk mowing on the best coneys laughing and plotting my job search. We start talking about where to look for apartments and my mom gets excited on apartment shopping. I have lived in three other places than my parents house and they never got to help me pick them out. Mom has already been looking downtown for lofts for me if I get the job that’s close to home. She gets so excited about this stuff, so do my grandparents. They never got the chance to live on their own, they graduated high school, got married and started having children. The peak of their career was being the nighttime manager at the local party store/pizzeria.

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that Justin and I died in a car crash and ended up in a waiting room like on Beatle Juice. I had one to pack all my memories that I wanted to keep with me and awaited basically my trial to see if I would go to “heaven” or “hell” the thing is that we could keep some of our favorite items like clothes and I noticed in the waiting room at that some people didn’t take anything with them but money. I had noticed that my little bit of money disintegrated in my hands the longer I waited and just before it was our turn to go in I gave half of my clothes to this little teenage girl who had nothing. That is when I woke up, it’s one of those dreams that make you think, if I go now have I finished enough at my age to satisfy. I know it was a dream about death but it was far from morbid, granted it was weird, especially because I killed off one of my best friends too. Sorry Debbie, I didn’t kill you too.

There is nothing like cleaning the spider webs out of your room to give you that primal killer instinct. I must have killed 20 or so creepy crawly spiders just now. I may still have an incredible case of the hebie jebies but the word gets around and the spiders fear me. I jut hope Killa doesn't come and wrap me up in my sleep so they can all feist.

This is why spiders creep me out... first they ketch their prey using an invisable web which always seems to get entangled in my face, they wrap them up like a mummy and suck the guts out of them like vampires. What's not to be afraid of. Pluss they always try to drop from the celing and crawl down my back when ever i am wearing a tubetop or backless shirt, i am telling you every time. F-n HATE spiders, but my area in my parents basement is clean and good news started an apartment search. That an my friend Justin my move from Toronto and come and live with me in Detroit. My Toronto contact will be gone but at least I will have a roomate. I don't know if I could live with him, I might kill him first.

I saw the man of steel last night and ehhh it was ok. Of course batman begins blew them out of the water. It was the best crowed I have ever seen in a theater, we were loud and excited then as soon as the movie started rolling we were intolerant of interruptions. First the sound went out and the rowdy cape wearing guys in the audience started standing up and flipping off the projector. There were lots of boos and hisses. Soon after during Superman’s first appearance the projector went black and you could see people plugging their ears as the sound was still on. Eventually they got most of the kinks worked out and as soon as the man in tights ripped open his shirt the whole crowed stood up and cheered. Of course Lois Lane is as dense as she ever was, but Brandon Routh did an incredible job in his role.



I like him better than Christopher Reeves. I hate most female characters in comic books. That may have stemmed from playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was younger in a neighborhood full of boys and butchy lesbians, they all made me be April because who else were they going to save. This meant I just had to stay up in the tree fort by myself and play with the ants until they decided it was time to kill off shredder once in for all. The girls in all of these stories are so freaking impaired. I really went for the animation, my friend Dave was on the team that did all of it and from what he was saying is that it is pretty breaking edge. I can kind of see that. The technique is definitely different, but there really hasn’t been anything that cutting edge since that Saturday morning cartoon about the robots that evolved into pixar. Toy story definitely rocked as far as 3-D animation goes.

What I do suggest is going to a theater that serves cocktails. I had the supermagarita, like eating superman icecream I had a little buzz and my tongue turned blue. I do find it very interesting that the Superman Comics mirror Christianity so much, just as X-Men an allegory for the ism’s has many Buddhist qualities to it.

Went to the fireworks... took an hour to drive 5 miles, went to rum runners arrrrrr and saw a leprechan after some lucky charms. Headed over to my favorite pub for some rum and this band was playing. They were like 1000% emo plus kiss. Not our favorite band. They couldn't decided which group they wanted to copy more and they were 100000% unoriginal. Then we wondered what an emo emu would look like. Chris didn't know what an emu was and we had to convince him that we weren't bullshitting him that an emu is a real bird.

July 7th pirate party is in heavy planning mode... maybe we can get some of the port huron pirates there. Maybe if we wave some 15 year old poontang in front of them they will follow???

This is what happens with comatose puppies and three bored and hot people


See no evil

















Hear no evil















Speak no evil

My friend Derek came home one day earlier from Kalamazoo so we decided to go out last night instead of tonight. It's good because I wouldn't want to be working with this hang over. I have been sick all morning. It's my own fault.

We spent most of the night in these dive bars around town. My favorite bar, the Roach, was nearly empty, think of it as the CBGB's of Michigan. Johnny Cash and Johnny Ramone were on the Jukebox and there were drinks to be had. Unfortuantely some joker put the Batchlor starting Chris O'donnel on the tv. Any other day it would have started a riot in this nice irish pub. The place is delightfully dirty and kept up just enough to pass building codes. On some nights half of this tiny bar is turned into a stage where you can hear bands inspired by everyone from the sex pistols, to lenny cravits, to jeff buckley.

I wanna do this!!!

my family have been my best dates lately...

Kimmy and I are going to go get drunk and watch superman on monday YOU HEARD ME MONDAY June 24. I get to see it before all ya bitches :)

I just got home from the beach where I watched the sun come up and the flaming lights of the freighters that sailed by. Again one of the few times I had Justin all to myself even for just a few hours. In reality I had him all to myself most of the night. Justin and I according to Debbie dated for a long time, in fact our friends refered to us as a couple. We were a very celibate very intimate couple who were really “just friends” however when anyone of the opposite sex popped their head into our time shit hit the fan. Jealous rages of teenagers appeared. Justin has groupies anywhere we go I still get the dirty looks from not just scorned women but those who are twitterpated too. Justin is getting used to his friends hitting on me, he is starting to call it practice for them rather than giving me attitude. It is when he holds my hand or slips his hand on my waste that it seems that I don’t have to deal with as much of the garbage with women constantly interrupting and tring to drag him off somewhere. I am safe, he is safe.

Tonight I got a good talking to of what is wrong with me. Straight from the horses mouth, from someone who has seen me sabotage our relationship as well as the other ones I have been in. It would seem as my conscious wants his job back. All of a sudden he doesn’t mind me drinking and has even given me permission to drink around him. I say this jokingly because I can count on one hand how many times he has seen me with a drink. It’s what happens when your life time male companion has a brother who died of a drug overdose and another who is a walking corpse with breath that could start fires. I am also going to starting today receive phone calls reminding when I need to go to the gym and when I need to work on whatever creative project I have at the moment, until I begin to have some self control again.

Here is the big one that everyone has been harping me on. I am not to write people off anymore because they make mistakes (in justin’s words “because they are human”, apparently I am not). I am to speak to them and ask them questions. I am not to assume. I get this lecture from one of three people every day. However Justin rarely tells me that I have something I need to work on.

The good news is that we have devised a plan to get me Canadian citizenship. I finally agreed to get married so we can basically trade countries. James immediately thought us heartless and cruel as soon as he sensed that we were half way joking. He went on to try to convince me on love again while Justin retorted with reasons why we should get married other than citizenship.

This sounds funny from two people who admit fear of commitment. I guess it works because I told him back in February that if we were to get married like that I wouldn’t be faithful but I would love him and that works for him. Don’t hold your breath for wedding details because it probably will never happen, however an option if we are desperate.

Ann Coulter called me godless, I have been calling her a cunt so I guess we are even. So this woman of faith this republican who I can safely assume is Christian took it upon herself to cast stones and claim heresy to half of this country.

Now she is yapping promoting her book that we aren’t fighting back and defending ourselves and we are defending widows of terrorist attacks. I can see that Lenten teachings didn’t last long or even at all. I am taught that my religion isn’t something that I can use for leverage or to punish others. I am not going to get into a My god has a bigger penis than yours debate. Maybe Coulter goes to the same church as Mary J. who thinks that “her god” is one who wants her to have pretty things, and wants her to be rich. Her god isn’t one who’s priorities lie in her having a clean conscious.



But to each is own. Who knows maybe I am wrong?

…ummmm don’t think so


oh and I just had to teach my computer that cunt is a word.

You and the traffic for all eternity.

I finally started sketching the other day. I am way behind, thank goodness I have 1,000 things to do don’t want do them. Sunday I plan on getting up really early to catch the sun rising over the bridge. It was so beautiful watching it off the lake the other day on the beach. Makes me wonder who wouldn’t want to live here. Once again I don’t think I could ever live more than a few miles away from the water on any kind of permanent basis.

I interviewed today for a position in a juvenile detention center. I looks like a pain in the ass but a pain in the ass that pays well. I heard quite a few good answers from my three interviews but who in the hell knows. I will in three weeks but at this point I am going to pretend that I am a college kid who spends their time on the beach.

I was watching with one eye on the other side, the good times are killing me. Well I’m not the world’s most physical guy but when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine. Nights are old but I am young across the sea writing letters home. You arer leaving me here dear alone with all your letters. So go on and I will refrain, and I’ll keep on running this never-ending race. Maybe next time will be the right time. Wed morning at 5:00 as the day begins, I hear the train coming rolling down the bend. Now when you needed me I was always around, now I need you baby and your nowhere to be found. Surprise surprise, I traveled here four hundred miles from where I’m known. Broken promises but you don’t really mind, it’s not the first time and you know it. Birds flying high you know how I feel, Sun in the sky you know how I feel, Breeze drifting on by you know how I feel, it’s a new dawn it’s a new day it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling good.

Soooooo

Foxxy can't comment which means I can say all kinds of nasty things like how her computer is a whore and it has unprotected sex and has contracted all kinds of viruses and foxxy can't say anything do defend herself....

My puter is white and pure... just like me

ha ha ha ha ha

Justin came home last Thursday and last night was the first time I was able to visit in about a year. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I walked into his dads house and him and the other guys were waiting for me. Josh messaged me when he was heading over and two hours later everyone was still sitting in the living room waiting for me to get out of work. I hadn’t seen Josh in over a year and I haven’t seen Dave since right after he got married.

It looked as they had spent at least 30 minutes preparing for the fire. Our fires always start out with twigs and end with mattresses and desks. I am surprised there is any furniture left in Justin’s dads house. Bill asked me what Justin had to do with any of the other guys I had dated yesterday. I answered that he is the man I compare everyone else to. Not that I should but he is my ideal. These are the nights I remember. Whether people are jumping off of roofs or jumping through fires it doesn’t matter. I enjoy being able to get together with some of the people I used to spend my summers with.

Later than night we walked down to the beach and spent hours watching my home town. I am always going to live on the beach. He said we should move to New Mexico or Arizona again but I can never part with my water. I ended up waking up on the couch cuddled up with him this morning. I guess he had been talking to me the whole time and I had just been a good listener but what can you do at 5am.

Royal Oak was fun, not as fun as a typical Friday night. In Royal Oak everyone is there. The yuppies have moved in but the hippies and the old punk rockers have refused to budge. And as we all know hippy generally produces hippy. I am still looking for my birth family, these liberal ideas must be genetic. Just this weekend my aunt tried to shame me for working in a homeless shelter and asked me why I am not doing something with my art. I almost asked her “I thought you looked down on the welfare system”

Back to the movie. I thought it would be aweful like break out the wine this is too cheesey aweful. It wasn’t that bad. The story line was decent a little too much philosophy for fast and the furious, but it was MUCH MUCH better than the second one, my theory is that it’s because Paul Walker isn’t there to muck it up. This isn’t as good as the first but not as bad as the second.

So the movie is about to start and WJLB has just finished their gangsta granny get up (WJLB is the radio station in 8 mile, it’s the station for rap and hip hop) The little jewish women love the d-jays there. So the music goes off and no previews because it’s a prescreening and my cell phone vibrates. Nothing is started yet so I answer it, it’s my mom, “Uhh where are you guys?” me: “at the movies it’s just about to start” mom: “Ok well, make sure when it’s done you hurry home and don’t stop off anywhere” me: “umm ok” mom: “Yeah sue is having her puppies”

She has had two puppies so far, opps make that three puppies so far. I am tring to stay out of the room because it seems she is a little shy with that today.

My grandma gave my cat away to some lady in a nursing home. I was so pissed. Granted it’s not really my cat and it’s prob in the cats best interest but I have tortured that cat since I was 10 years old and dag gumb it I wanted to finish the job.

We moved my grandparents out of the house across the street from me, the house that they have lived in since I was 6 months old to a trailer just outside of town. Yeah I know how Britney Spears of us but it’s a retirement community with very easy up-keep. I can understand it and it’s not like a mobile home, there are no wheels on this thing. It’s going to be hard not being able to run across the street whenever I want to see them or whenever I run out of something. I know that house almost as well as I know my parents there are so many nooks in that house that I know by heart.

I have a tendency to hold on to strange things, I walk by certain spots on purpose to remember things that have happened. I keep the obituaries of people I know and for some reason have a series of dried fruit that I have had for what seems like years, a peanut from a 4-H workshop (I forgot what it means) or a coconut that I have been caring around with me for almost a year.

I don’t know how much I will like walking by that house, I look at it every time I step out of mine. I hope I am gone when the new people move in and I hope I can move out soon so I won’t have to see my memories destroyed by the new owners, or even worse new owners living in my memories. For now I will change my workout patterns and try to use the other street as much as I can so I don’t have to drive past my grandparents house.

So after hearing about how Titanic is the best movie ever and hearing Celiene Dione for the 5,000th time. I think the song "My heart will go on" is good cause for a Canadian Genocide. Not that Alanis didn't give good cause before or that lady who sings about wearing different colored dresses. All of this after some fairly good canadian artists. Not that I would know what good music is.

Why should Americans be killed off, that is very simple
1. Pat Robertson
2. Jessie Jackson
3. Britney Spears
4. American Idol
5. The Wu-Tang Clan
6. Sandra Bernhard
7. The empirical system of measurement
8. High School High the Musical
9. Hot Dogs

So after reading pitt’s post seemingly mocking me because lately I have been very egocentrical and such thinking everything is about me for you tards who can’t understand 10 cent words, or was it for me needing to be repetitious.

I won’t tell you about my day or the funny lady that just walked by the looser café I am in. I won’t tell you how I got 6 inches chopped off of my hair and how it’s a completely different color or how I all of a sudden have freckles all over my chest on the upper part of my lip and it kinda looks like I have facial hair that I need to wax. You will not know how I have tiny little birth marks all over my body like the one on my left hand or the one right below my right eye that looks like a little tear drop. You wont know how they come out when it starts to get sunny. I can’t tell you how I got a date on Sunday while at the gym all sweaty and gross. Or how when I got home from the gym my brother immediately said that I was rank and that I absolutely needed a shower because I smelled worse than the dead guy he carried out of a house today and I still couldn’t repel the guy. I can’t tell you the funny little things that happen during the day that make me giggle because then blogging becomes a diary. What’s here must be fiction. What’s here must be written in a way that is art-sy regardless to the human characters that have enhanced my day.

Here is where I have to convince the rest of the world that I am cooler, funnier, sexier and smarter than they are. I have to convince others that I am worth their time but in reality… maybe I am not. I need to maintain readership but wait aren’t I just writing for myself. If I am writing for myself then why am I linking people and why do I have my comments turned on, if I really didn’t care and if really thought my writing was that good then why would I need verification.

So my question to you what is more important some bullshit about my furniture having sex with each other that makes you laugh, or the old harly guy on the spree that I keep seeing…

I think you know my answer even though you may not agree.

Don’t be offended by anything I wrote by the way if I link you it’s cuz I like what you write or you really piss me off.

Sorry...

I know I have been gone lately. I stowed away for a few minutes read a couple of blogs but didn't get to finish nearly enough.

I stowed away to my little coffee shop and and busy avoiding the scary guy at the bar who keeps talking to me and my brother who has called several times wanting to play a board game and it impatiently waiting for me to get home.

I have also been busy plotting a series of "accidents" to my many "accidents" that I seem to keep running into. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't absoluely dispise some of my ex's. It's never good when you say "What the hell was I thinking" and it's even worse when they are constantly around to remind you that you make really really bad decisions. So insteady of being a grown up and moving on I have secretly been plotting ways to completely embarass them in public while saving my own face. We will see if I ever go through with any of it. Next time I run into one of them I am just going to pretend that I don't remember them like they were so meaningless that I don't know why they are talking to me. Yeah that's because I am so very mature.


Meanwhile my mother has switched her plans for retiring when she has grandchildren to retiring when she screws up her back from hunching over a desk. She seems to think that she will achieve the latter first. I havent been keeping my mom up on the guys I am dating. She just gets in the way and doesn't let be play my little game. Once again I have the mentality of a 16 year old when allowed to make my own decisions and try to function in public on my own. At any minute I am going to start blowing bubbles in my coke and drool all over my lap top. Here is a scary thought... I am supposed to correct the behavior problems in children. Yeah that's a good idea. They just teach me bad habbits.

It’s amazing, I left my apartment, packed up everything, Left my good smelling room and my good smelling clean apartment for a musty old dirty spider infested basement. Infact when I am done with this I am going off to buy a spider bomb. I packed up my past year and moved myself out. Hopefully this next year goes a whole lot better than the last. Most of my stuff is coming home tomorrow to today before work I must wash and clean as much as I possibly can. I am very particular about how things smell and how clean my clothes stay.

Oh yeah my boss had me contacted last night and told me that I was in charge today. Apparently today is supposed to be really busy and I am going to have to dress like a professional. I am going to be so exhausted today when I get home. I hope they give me a bonus for everything these past few weeks….

Insomnia is never convenient. I found something pretty today, well kinda it was good enough for now, that I don’t feel like a slob wearing a t-shirt to work everyday. It’s kinda difficult doing intakes and counseling families in a t-shirt and jeans. However in our facility it is common attire. You don’t want to dress up too much or else the residents often poor feel put out. So I get home from my little trying on clothes and hating color and cut spree to my boss calling me in a panic. Yes I got suckered into working, then somehow “just for a few hours like until 8” turned into “yeah I will work the whole shift even though I have to work the midnight and woke up at 6 am” For those of you who have added me to myspace I apologize I had to get over a sleepy hump and did a lot of ridiculous surveys” Some how I worked right through dinner with a discharge then spent the rest of my night working on a very difficult intake. Some way I have stayed awake and kinda functioning… it could be the two cups of coffee and double shot of espresso.

4.5 more hours until sleepy.

Pitt’s had this thing lately calling us losers. I don’t want to agree with him well out of spite but considering I actually have a blog and have a lj and have a myspace with no real reason I can’t help but kinda feel that way.

By the way I miss my Harley spree guy… nothing funny happened today

seriously you will thank me for this

go here

Here K-fed's fans both of them set up a little game.

I just finished a whiny book called Good in Bed. It's a Jennifer Weiner book, she wrote "In Her Shoes" starring Tony Collette and Cameron Diaz. It's a story about living as a bigger woman. I decided for two reasons that I should prob. understand what that really feels like. Firstly because genetically it may be inescapable for me. My mom is big, my dad is big. I have struggled to try to stay small my entire life and I am definately not that small. However I am not that big either. I just didn't think I would have to struggle this hard to look like everyone else. Secondly I wanted to make an informed decision.

My informed decision is that I am sick and tired of hearing about her ex-lover bruce and in the entire story the main character does not do one single thing to help another person with out expecting nothing in return. Very selfish very annoying. I have quit reading better books than this, I don't know what possessed me to finish this one. There are better fat chick movies than this one.

Lately I have had to play counselor to a few friends of mine. My friend Justin who I have spoken about numerous times here feels that he will never see another pair of breasts again, and my other friend who I haven't spoke much about here is struggling so much with her relationship that she has chosen to seek professional help. I love hanging out with her it's always so fun. I am the token strait girl in the bunch and least butch. But it seems like I have been having the same conversation over and over again and all of them involving too much breasts. Sometimes you need to not be in relationships and be selfish. Do what you want to do at any given moment with out having to call and check in. Get your life and your goals set with out wondering how this will affect a significant other. Be selfish.

I have held on to that motto for months now, and I am on the edge of letting that go. I started dating again a few months ago and a couple of weeks ago I started finally dating someone I actually liked. And I was blind to it. I love it when things hit me from the side you know always in the periphrial but never really noticed. Well ok I get it. I understand. At least now I can tell my friends to have faith that you will get butterflys again even from someone you didn't expect it from. Or someone who gave you butterflies nearly a deckade ago. Lucky me gets to date her high school crush 8 years after the fact. Silly me has been ignoring him for the past two years and finally gave in.

work work work work work
my sincerist apologies
work work work work work

Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate


I have the strangest life. I was just crying like sobbing because everything went wrong today on the job frontier. My boss called me last night as I was working at the other house and asked me to work today in my mind he said 4-12 and in his mind he said 8-4. Can you guess who’s mind won out on that one. So me being a looser lost. Actually screw that I am Awesome and everyone else thinks so to. If you don’t then you aren’t an everyone.

So anyways at work, and these poor children. Poor poor frightened, terrified little well teenagers. First I made one of them cry and three of them laugh. As everything there is confidential I can’t say too much except I am batting a .75. Really good by professional standards. At least my boss seemed pleased with my performance even thought I was an hour late to work today, but work was crazy at the shelter and I think any other day I would have been taken out back and flogged.

I come home and find out that something is jacked up with the application I just submitted and that it is actually voided. Seconds later I check my myspace and find a message sent to me by boyfriend from kindergarten. Yada Yada Yada. I lost 3.000 pounds yada yada yada I have never been happier which is awesome. Yada yada yada I came out of the closet. Humm so I was dating gay guys since age 5. That’s about right. Better than last year. Last year I only dated the ones that were secretly married with children.

Here I am sitting in my little harbor town with my little harbor rain actually big harbor rain + big harbor hail, and All I can think of is how incredible this town is. I love the smell of the fish and the rain. The best time of year is coming upon us and I am almost thinking about getting a third job at a local harbor.



It’s always exciting when a new ship comes in, not just using the ship to shore but physically bringing them in. It’s hard work for about 3 minutes but just enough adrenaline to make you want to jump up and down a little. The rain is letting up now and the birds are going wild. The smell is fantastic and I am sure the water is calm. Too bad I never liked the fishy taste. I wouldn’t eat the fish out of the great lakes anyways. I wouldn’t even swim in it, but it’s fun to ride on.

Lover of Dwight Shrute

Ok so I should have posted this last Friday but. What can I say I am a busy girl. I haven’t even watched the Season Finale of Grey’s Anatomy yet.

So lovers of The Office and those of you who are too slow to catch on to The Office. Funny how Steven Colbert and Steve Carell both have better shows than The Daily Show. What about that? And what about Pam and Jim? Oh Pam totally wants to jump Jims bones. Thank god, hell I wanna jump “Jim’s” Bones. But they had their first kiss Thursday and I had warm fuzzies. Hummm



You know what else gives me warm fuzzies… Pirates. Yeah you heard me PIRATES. I found my pirate well not pirate costume but wench costume this weekend. The one I am going to start wearing to the Pirate games. And perhaps to the opening night of the second Pirates of the Caribean. I don’t know we are just crazy like that.

That’s another great thing about living in a harber town. At least once a day if you walk down by the water you can find someone either dressed like a pirate or like they just walked of the set of Miami Vice.

Happy Unmothers day. I almost didn't get to celebrate that this year. I will gladly wash dishes and make breakfast and cook pinapple upside down cakes one day out of the year rather than have a child right now. That will change someday. I was giving my brother some dating advise today. I told him how I always have a one month probationary period for all datee's. That way if they piss me off or if they do stupid things that month they still havent met my family and I don't have to explain "what happened with ..." Good advise seriously!

My dad shaved his mustash off yesterday and you can definatly see his promenent mouth that we all have. Once again he matches the rest of the family. My Grandmother noted how much younger he looks and that is when my aunt decided that she should shave her moustash off too. I have been saing for a while that we need to write a book. I love my family and it's hard to describe these situations because everyone's personality builds off of eachother. Mom and I decided my uncle was the funnies of us all. He and my brother are not allowed to sit next to eachother at church or during dinner.

Either way welcome to another in a long line of shitty posts.

It's raining outside yet I must go running. I am starting to see my summer time body come out of hiding but strangely enough it's looking closer and closer to my winter body of 5 years ago. I love that my legs ache. I love that my muscles are screaming at me and that I nearly had an asthma attack when I came back from my run the other day. Feeling my lungs calvs thighs hurt is a pain that I enjoy. That's the best part of summer, I have less to do and my work out schedule becomes intense at times. I have to make up for all that slacking I did this winter. I hope to one day have my competitive swimming body back. Just in less of a manly way. The short green hair and constant looming of chlorine wasn't too plesant. Neither were the really butchy sholders and the hairy legs that some of the other girls sported. However we had the best stomachs and arms. I know it's in there somewhere I just have to find it!

I must do my search I think Running to grandma's house along the river might help.... well maybe i will only do a mile today instead of my brothers 4 mile track.

I know outlaw, I am sorry I am an ass. I really have no excuse.

So I informed my parents that we would be have a garage (garbage) sale. As of next week I get to go from being the looser who sleeps in her parent's den on a matress to the looser who lives in her parents basement. Whoo hoo right! Our basement isn't refinished it's just cinderblock walls so my goal for the next two months is to get a real job and find a real apartment to live in.

In order for me to be a looser that lives in my parents basement I must first find room back there for a bed and stuff. That is why I have been doing. I can't believe the crap that is down there. I had to stop last night when I started having problems breathing. However my mom said If I do a garage sale I can keep what ever I make selling their crap. Whoo hoo. Maybe I will be able to pay my car payment this month... YES!!!

I did find some gems though Like a Zach Morris cellphone strait out of the early 90's... that sucker is going on ebay

I found some old steins that are going to mysteriously disapear into a box on my self.

And I found the old Cookie Monster Costume that my dad wore every year for halloween until my youngest brother was like 5 while he took us around trick or treating. That I am saving to torture my future husband with... eventually.

Yeah my mom was on my case again yesterday how I never give anyone a chance and she doesn't want to see me become a decrepid old maid like a couple of my cousins. Gee thanks mom. You can't tell that she wants grandchildren can you.

At the Rent's house still.

Looks as if I am here for the next three to six months. I was supposed to go back and say my goodbyes today but with gass the way it is and the saturday party nixed there really is no reason.

I got the job that I applied for I was actually the only one they highered but when they started orientation I decided it was too close to sales for me. I may have lost my soul in a card game but I will not loose my dignity for capitalism. I will leave alcohol and my big fat mouth to do that. So the job search is still on. I have a couple of things lined up but then again I have said that before.

Tyra banks is interviewing Jenna Jameson. It's like she wants you to tell her all this rounchy dirty stuff. Maybe it gets her off. Tomorrow Mother and Daughter strippers.... Jerry Jerry oh I mean Tyra Tyra Tyra. Too bad steve isn't there to protect her

Finally reading the Davinci Code. I started the book while doing laundary over at my grandmothers. As you probrably know by now most of my family is devout catholic. I am just catholic. There is a difference. Anyways my grandmother kept saying that it was going to get into my head. That it's all lies. Grandma!! It's fiction. I used a bad example of what's the difference between this and reading harry potter. It was the first thing I could think of and certainly a poor choice of books, "and umm wizard of oz" SAVE!!! Thank goodness my aunt Donna was there. We are a team against the bitter fogeys. My grand mother isn't what I call fogey but she is gullable and the other aunts that were there are fogeys. Everything is wrong with the world and they know how to fix it.

I just tried to stick my nose in the book, I didn't get very far.

At home for a while... can you tell? had an interview today we will see... they interviewed over 40 people.

Tonights boondocks is especially good. It’s a highly underated show anyways. Fuck bugs bunny, fuck him up the anus. Best part is the bashing of the “Ghetto Fabulous”. You would think that with all this cultural bias of mine I would be a character in crash but I have no problem with blacks, reds, purples, greens whatever, I have a problem with ghetto fabulous culture and 13 year old kids thinking it’s so cool to get shot 7 times. My favorite is how Martin Luther King got frustrated and started calling all the dumbasses niggers. Ahem I mean the N word. I can’t say the real word because it would be racist. Them picking on rich white boys tring to be gangsta thugs is pretty funny too. I am sure you are thinking Kracka Please. But seriously spending as much time in Detroit as I have in the past… ghetto isn’t fabulous… well unless it’s bohemian. That’s different because you are just spending your cash on alcohol instead of crack and bling. And alcohol makes you artsy and cool.


What’s really sad is that my mom has started to use the word bling. I am going to have to start taking drinks more often. All part of our det drinking game… Every time we see grillz, lil jon, rims, pot, booty shaking and ectra. Flashing bling is in there too.

I suppose my life style is really superficial and ridiculous too. After all my biggest problem is well surviving in this world of capitalistic pigs. I suppose my problems in my culture could be much worse

Closing thought of boondocks… Never kidnap Oprah!

I just received this on a “bulletin” in myspace. F-n pissed me off. Since when did you have to have a significant other to have a perfect life or a pool in your back yard or an ipod. My favorite is that your life is perfect because you never cry. Complete bullshit. You can tell that this is such complete teenage bull crap with the do you get an allowance question. This is why I like working with the teeny-boppers. You can see things like this give them a little mental shake and help them take their head out of theirs asses with these materialistic desires. Here’s the thing, we have developed defences to avoid such “competitions” well some of us have, we have said to ourselves in the past… “These feelings of inferiority everybody has felt and because I feel it to I am completely normal” with fucking shit like this it’s pointing out those inferiorities. Oh yeah this was sent to me by someone that I have known for quite a while and whom I believe is somewhere around 28 or so.

Subject: 'My life is 62% perfect" but these things dont = perfect

Body:
[x] You know someone that cares about you.
[ ] You have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancee/ husband/ wife.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[ ] You get good grades.
[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[x] You have more than 2 best friends.
[ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard.
[x] You live in a house.

T O T A L: 7

[x] You dress how you want to.
[ ] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[ ] You have never been beaten up.
[ ] You never cry.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[ ] Your room is big enough for you.
[x] People don't use you for something you have.
[x] You have been to a concert.
[x] You laugh more than twice a day.

T O T A L: 6

[ ] You have over 100 friends on myspace.
[x] You have pictures on myspace.
[ ] You get allowance.
[x] You collect something normal.
[x] People don't make fun of you to be mean.
[ ] You look foward to go to school.
[ ] You don't wish you were someone else.
[ ] You play a sport.
[ ] You do something after school.
[x] You shower daily.

T O T A L: 4

[x] You own a car.
[ ] You usually don't fight with your parents.
[x] You're healthy.
[ ] You've never had a cavity.
[ ] You are happy with your appearance.
[ ] You aren't self-consious at all.
[x] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[x] You have friends.
[x] You have so many inside jokes with friends.
[x] You know your parents care and love you.

T O T A L: 6

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about sooo many people.
[ ] You are happy with your life.
[x] You usually aren't sick.
[ ]You know more than one language.
[x] You have a screen name.
[x] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[x] You don't have any enemies.
[x] You are happy you're living.

T O T A L: 8

Now count up the number and multiply by 2. Then repost saying 'My life is __% perfect

My weekend is best described by pictures. Basically why I have failed to update. So you all know my weekend started out like this:


Then it went to this:



And this:



Please note that this is not... again NOT me. It was my roomate ShaHEYna's 21st. birthday.

Then we did this:
And
then my mom and i went drink for drink on long islands... she won

my weekend in wraps... yup

So I don’t know if you noticed but I have been at my parents since Sunday. I have tons of goofy pictures to upload but no internet to disperse them. So I will catch up with weekend shenanigans and mulligan later. Yesterday was the best day ever. I first interviewed for a position at the County Jail and everyone is praying for me to get it. I want that job SO bad. It would really launch my career. I think not only did I make a professional connection with my interviewer/potential supervisor but I made a connection on a personal level. After that I went and visited the grand parents since I loves the grandparents. Then it was off to my old/new job to sign my contract and do a review of policies and procedures. So I walk in and there are a ton of my old co-workers there from a counseling meeting. Then I go through my stuff and it is so simple my boss took ten minutes if that to train me so I decided to look through the staff log. I always loved reading the banter that is in the staff log. For instance one of my three bosses who is completely passive aggressive was passive aggressively trying to get rid of a tiny mouse. Lets just say she hates mieces to pieces. My other boss for the seemingly hundredth time didn’t get into people’s most beautiful people and had his feelings hurt because of it. Anyways the good news in-between all this rambling is that I got a longevity raise even though I have been gone for nearly eight months.

I am so excited to be back, I move with in the next week and I have been all smiles!

Meet Craigary. craig I am linking your livejournal by the way... eventually.

I went Chuck Norris on his ass...


but I got bitch slapped.



Then I was showing everone who was the law in these parts



But some guys kept showin me their tittys and they took some perverted humor to being duche bags. I noticed that guys who are duche bags don't really think that they are, even when you remind them. They also become belidgerent and

How come every time I have a good idea its not when I am sitting at this stupid computer. Oh I didn’t mean it I love you lap top. Ok so my new knick name is “Ass Pipe” apparently I don’t mind it, it’s just not very creative. So now I have the pleasure of creating a sweet ass knick name for Sir. Rev. Dr. Justin Brown. The hot dog charmer who thinks he is cool because of that stupid picture of him in bed with two lesbian feminists. Ummm if they are in bed with him then they aren’t feminists. I am taking a pole, um poll of what I should call him. Something Something Banana Hammock came to mind at first but I don’t know. Any suggestions?

So I ummm yeah I got attacked by wild dogs this weekend. There is no other way to put it. They wanted to eat the puppy. One of them got her and scared the shit out of both of us. I was taking two of the dogs for a walk (Like I have done since I was 10 when we bought the place up there) and they were splashing in the ditches along side of the road which is fine. it's a country road and everyone does that. So we were walking on the road (not in the ditch) and three semingly wild pittbulls came out of an old abandond house that is on the corner. One for each of us. The one that came after me I was able to give a fairly good kick to and two of the backed off. I went after the other one who at this point was on my puppy's back looking like it was going to eat her but backed off a little after I ran after it. SCARY stuff. She hid be hind me as I started screaming and yelling at them like a dense asshole. They backed off for a while and as soon as we started moving away they came back at us again. This happened quite a few times. After the first time my 12 year old dog decided that she wasn't messing with these dogs and walked away while I kept them occupid, I am just glad she walked the two miles home and made it back safely, I could hardly see her but everyonce in a while on the way back I saw her footy prints. On the way back the puppy would not leave my side when usually they track ahead on the path and flush out rabbits. We got back home and up the driveway when Maggie came out of the garage and sat on me. Poor dogs. But I know now that I can't count on the dogs if I run into one of the fabled bears. Almost everyone says they have seen one but I think they are just joking.

My dad wants me to carry his 38 when I go walking now because stuff like this happens to me, aparently my pepperspray which I say I carry and I don't even know where it is; isn't good enough anymore. I just laughed at him and agreed to a walking stick instead. Good thing I am fluent in dog.

Ohh it makes me feel like I need to take another shower but I can't look away. See why I love fat bitches firstly because dez crazy. I come from rather big people. And although my family doesn't walk around in mini skirts... well the anorexic one does but what I am tring to say is people like that have a sense of self esteem that it apears nothing can breach. Yeah i see a beached whale and so much cottage cheese you could feed china for a month but she thinks she is beautiful and it appears as if you just can't reason with her. Love it

You know what else I love??? Lost.


and soon I will love V for Vendetta.

Don't drink nasty american beer and eat too many pickles at the same time, because what you think is going to be a fart it isn't really a fart

Powerwalking in thong sandles for two hours isn't the smartest idea, now your favorite sandles are all bloody with blister puss.

Dancing on said blisters at bar night makes you look like a duche and nobody will want to talk to you after; unless you change bars.

Wearing a cardigan to a psudo skin bar with your librarian glasses will not improve the situation either.

Sometimes it's ok to make pedophille jokes, as long as your not accusing anyone of being one like, what's the best part of having sex with a 12 year old boy...





finding out he is actually eight.


What is the best part of having cybersex with a 12 year old girl...









finding out she is acutally a balding middle aged school teacher or the Press Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security.

In my home town and neighbors across the border I had found myself in and amoung a crowd of artists and musicians, along with a few strange and unstable people. Some of which I have dated. Today I come to find out that my most recent looser ex has now hooked up with another friend of mine and now they are on the ITR/DNA Music label. It does not bother me that it sounds like he is doing well. Honestly though I wish him lots of VD, but it does bother me that he is using the contacts that he got through me. The same guy who used to tell me (as if I wanted to know) how Justin would bring back strippers to his apartment is now recording with my most recent ex. I get along well with just about all of my ex's most of them are very good and very kind people. This one however my parents hate, my friends hate, and most recently he did some things that made me dislike him even more than I already did. To think that I could have had a six month old and engaged to him. Dodged that bullet.

I also have been wondering if I should open this up to my real life friends.

how come I get the best idea's when I have been drinking... like how much I like fat bitches or how I want to fix every guys collar who pops. Seriously it's gay and I don't use that word because I think it is derogatory. Like saying the N-word... I don't like that either, but only I can call myself a kraut or a patty.

I like comercials a lot like the new VW comercial or the ipod comercial where I say I have that cd and that one and that one.

I have too many cd's I have been collecting since the fuckers came out maybe that is why I have so many

AARP membership ad on Myspace??? Is that for all the old pervs or do they really think that myspace is the hot spot for the fogeys. The only AARP candidates are the ones that are calling themselves 15 yr old hottttt bois. That or they are the guy from my home town that I met once 4 years ago who found me on myspace and has been my myspace stalker who won't get the hint when I don't add him as a friend. He has tons of pictures of naked girls who are claiming that they are 16 on their site. I think he is like 40 or something.

Eitherway someone is a marketing genious

Whoo hoo not so sick anymore... I sound like shit but it doesn't feel like I am going to fall over all the time... Driving was fun though.

Bar night tonight!!! I'm excited. My roomie will prob drive because she has class in the morning, which means that I get to try some of momma's lil cough syrup. It's going to suck having a real job. The shelter is already like when can you come back which is what I want becuase me likes having sweet sweet moolah however I am going to have to give up this staying in my pj's until I have to go somewhere thing that I have been doing. My roomates think I sleep all day but it's just an illusion. I just don't feel the need to get out of my pj's until the afternoon, they all have to go to class and half of my classes are online. I remember when I used to not sleep because I didn't have time, now I don't sleep because I am bored... Maybe that is why I am so lame lately...

Does anyone else think that Pink is a drag queen?

leaving my girls

Ophelia has spoken

My camera had no batteries and decided to take shitty pictures. Tony at busblog has some good ones

Ophelia has spoken

Incredible Concert... Sorry Paul

Ophelia has spoken

off to the falls and to make a boy cry, and when I mean boy I mean man

Ophelia has spoken

Off to make some boys laugh

Ophelia has spoken

Some weren't there

Ophelia has spoken

Loooooonnng Drive home

Ophelia has spoken

So I missed the strip club… Damn. Loonies and Toonies are always fun with Canadian Strippers. Lil mikey seems quiet and shy but very huggy. I unblocked him for now, we will see how long that lasts. I am betting a week. Chad actually seems to be a nice guy, I was wondering what he would be like and not what I expected. Phil and Raymi are very sweet and kind people. Pitt is an animal and very talkative. Tony is like a cuddly bear. All of them reminded me of friends that I already have. I came back and told Debbie that I had met them over the weekend because honestly she kind of teases me and calls me a big nerd because I have internet friends. We have great friends and have had great times. I actually should start writing about that more because with the way we are I should write a book. From late night skinny dipping with some of the local untapped talent, to tramping around parkdale with the Sir Reverend. From bringing Jesus back to the apartment to party hopping in my apartment complex. Because for gods sakes I am even boring myself right now.

I said that I wanted to focus on my writing and not rely on antics but what I failed to realize is that antics or not you do need good writing and I have been writing this blog in the same style I write in my personal journal. It doesn’t have much of me between the words and my personality draws flat. As is this new template, I am already sick of it!

My internet is sucking… and I am tired. Over six hours of just driving today. First I woke up in St. Catherines and made a boy cry, then we hit the falls and a Soccer game where a little girl decided I was going to be her new best friend and we talked about how the soccer players looked like monkeys and if I were a clown my face would be green and purple with tons of glitter. Then I started packing to leave and made him cry some more. I decided that instead of making men cry I wanted to make one laugh so I took a detour to Toronto to see my friend Dave. We played a couple of games of checkers where he proceeded to kick my ass then the door bell rang… Who could it be. Oh yes it is Justin’s ex girlfriend. Did I mention that Justin lives with Dave and Justin and I used to date and now we are just really good friends. Not like Shawn, Shawn and I never dated which in retrospect weirds me out right now. So Justins ex comes in tries to make me feel really uncomfy by being a henous bitch. Well at least a super bitch and David is very amused by this. He wanted to take pictures but I wouldn’t let him. At least he thought she was being bitchy too.

And now Where is my mind by the Pixies is running through my head. What was pretty sweet about the drive is that I was able to giggle about Saturday night the whole way home as well as I had new batteries in my camera so it worked an took like 5,002 pictures of me driving on the way home as if I were vain. I will talk more about meeting bloggers tomorrow

This is why this is a sweet week

1. After my ipod broke it miracrously started working this morning

2. Got Matt Good tickets

3. Got to meet fellow bloggers even though I felt like a duche well because Shawn was pissing me off

4. Four is an over rated number.

5. I got to see Justin’s ex girlfriend get jealous of me instead of giving me a stare down , I can’t wait until one day she goes Christina Ricci in Prozac Nation on his ass.

6. Oakland County finally wrote me and I passed my first step in getting a full time real person job.

Oh yeah Ummm my throat feels like it hates me so I am wondering if Tony licked my beer bottle or if it’s punishment for making mono jokes.

So I am in St. Catherines with Shawn and one thing is blatently obvious. A person can only repress the tool factor for so long before you start getting annoyed with him. They can however not be a tool for 30 minute increments. Actually I feel bad because I am writing this on his computer however I couldn't get my puter hooked up to his eithernet. He is a good friend and that is all that there is. It's good for me because sometimes you wonder if someone just lived a little closer, if if if... Story of my adolescents. The people I made friends with right out of high school are not the people that they used to be. Some of it good some of it bad. The really bad part is that I discussed this with Shawn right before the show and he got increasingly moodier. Then I made the poor guy cry. He asked me if I trusted him and didn't like the truth. For some reason he thought he would be hopping on a flight to come and see me from Calgary not likely. That is why he cried. So now I feel like shit. I should have caution tape permently wrapped around me.

So here is a lesson to you all, when you go and visit someone and they are more than hinting around the notion of sex and you don't want to... just lie and tell them you are on your period. Works like a charm.

So I have been wondering. Where do I go and what do I do to accentuate my nature. I just don’t have it in me to be a bull dog. I am always told I need to stick up for myself more. When I do it I get excited but feel right after that I was wrong...

News Flash… Important phone call. Well Shawn just called and Calgary couldn’t wait they flew him out there and back yesterday. And he called me as he was reading the letter. He got the job… At least he first started with that he has been thinking about me a lot and he misses me. He asked me when I am available and I guess we are going away for the weekend. Where to I don’t know. Instead of thinking about having to make a decision I really have to make one now. I can’t be scared of commitment because he has always given me freedom and have let me take things at my own pace and now that isn’t possible. As much as I am single I am emotionally committed to him, I always have been, just the things we have gone through together. I love him but is it enough, can he give me everything I need and want as a companion. Being there for somebody living a ways away is a lot different than living with someone 24/7. That is what we are talking about because if we do get together that is where it will be going, there is so much clarity in that. Sometimes I just want to stay the high school kid that works and takes classes for fun. Maybe that is why I don’t have a job and I haven’t graduated school yet. I don’t live in the past but I don’t live in the future either, I am petrified of failing and this is just another part of my life I can fuck up.

I always leave things to fate, I need to speak up and be proactive on what I want… What do I want??

Oh the good news is that I called my boss and he is giving me my job back.

I don’t want to hurt him…

The wedding was ummm interesting. The tone was set when the Eye of the Tiger was the song that introduced the couple. There was also a Alice Cooper look-a-like contest on the brides side that we didn't know about. I am sure if they were to ask we would have had fun making costumes too.

Jeremy Piven is visiting India. I don't remember a movie with him in it that I didn't like, although I am sure if I really thought about it I might be able to come up with one. I have always wanted to spend time in India. I can't wait until this show comes out on the Discovery Channel. I suggest the movie Monsoon Wedding to anyone. It is a bit Americanized but you can certainly see the struggle for balance of East and West. I can't wait until I can make my way there. I think about 10 years of time there until I can properly soak it up... we will see maybe a life time.

I saw the oddest thing while driving my 3 hour trip to my hometown today. As I was whipping through Saginaw on a 4 lane busy expressway I saw a rather big tourtise which I assume to be crawling along the cement divider. I am assuming this because it looked as he was standing up and his shell was not crushed or anything like with tourtise road kill. This after driving past a few defrosted carcuses of much faster animals that havent been scraped off of the road yet from the spring thaw. So how did the tourtise make it across. I doubt people are that kind to try and miss it, more likely they would swerve to crush the beast.

I also got into my first fight ever yesterday. Well first fight where I punched a guy. I just didn't care to take his bullshit anymore and even though he speaks to his fiance in this manner, it's not something that I allow in conversation. So I punched him in the arm as hard as I could with a pointy ring on. I spilled his beer aparently. He's pretty big too but mostly just fat. Then there was the shouting match. Oh yeah this is my bowling partner too. By the end of the night things were cool but this is a guy that not a whole lot of us can tolerate. I told my parents over dinner and they thought it was halarious. They just said it was a long drive for my brothers if I need rescuing. Although I was pretty proud of myself. I don't think I have ever really hit another person before. Well my cousins and I used to all box out in the front yard but I would just pull a jerry lewis on their ass. And when I mean boxing, it was my grandfathers old gloves from when he was in the Army and we were just playing around. My favorite part was when he started getting in my face telling me how he was going to hurt me, that's when I told him again that he was an asshole and to sit down and shut up.

It wasn't a knock out or anything but the fact that I really punched somebody makes me want to hit him in the face next time he gets mean and nasty. F-n Bully... I won't do it though, I don't think I will ever hit someone like that again. Just not my style.

So I had made my decision and when he called today it was like he was reading my mind. We will see, but not likely

Not finished and kind of stuck... Hummm what directon to work with

When do you know when the timing is right? When something is pushing you in one direction or another how do you know what direction to go? Today Shawn called excited that a company in Calgary that contacted him and they want him to asses hazardous material as a consult for the Petroleum Industry. This means he might move to Calgary. We are supposed to talk more about this tonight and it isn’t but just after I had been questioning the merits and the direction of our relationship. Two weeks ago he told me I just need to marry him, as he did today. This is right before he started selling Calgary to me. Should I be spontaneous or should I keep my head. Should I hold out for something better or follow the lead of a dear friend who has been there for me for the better part of this decade. For a friend who thinks I am his soul mate and who is my last call of the night. Who until our recent change of schedule was my last call of the day. A relationship that isn’t based entirely on sex but has evolved from friendship. One that has survived through 7 years of fiancés and job relocation. One that hasn't had the opportunities of a normal relationship definately flashes of passion.

So I changed my format around. I haven't really done much in the spirit of the name of this blog so I thought I might. I also have been contemplating shutting this whole thing down. But I have had a blog in one form or another for four years... Yes Debbie it's been that long and it has gotten that bad.

I also changed the names of my blog roll to characters of Hamlet. I had a hard time because there weren't enough developed characters in my blog roll. Lets just hope I don't feel the need to add any others. Point being that I hope nobody becomes offended as to their character because there are reasons why certain people are certain characters and it doesn't necessarily have to do with any of the negatives of the character. That is one thing I enjoy about this play is that it is hard to find a malice character, it is also hard to find a virtuous character. As is life we all have faults but that is what is beautiful. interesting. This is a part of Christianity that consistently gets over looked. We are not meant to be perfect, in fact it is impossible. What makes us human is not that we are made in god's likeness (or that we created god in our likeness, which is another story for another time) but it is our relationship and balance of ideal and impulses that make us human.

I have also decided to try to concentrate more on writing rather than silly gimmicks that I had posted in the past. After all I started keeping a blog to improve my writing and I think after 4+ years it's about time I start my goal of regularly writing that of substance.Perfection is boring, Evil is boring. It is the balance that is interesting

Gwendalynn has dark chocolate hair that falls in soft curls to her waist

Gwendalynn was a Half-breed, But She was enough elf to make a elegant “quick walk” over the glowing coal.

Gwen died as a result of a fall from atop the George Washington bridge courtesy of the Green Lantern

Gwen wants Jane for one simple reason: revenge against Theresa.

Gwen needs an apartment

Gwen Likes Fake Hair. Gwen Stefani sports a wig to get her signature platinum blond locks.

Gwen hates Namibia’s Founding President Nujoma – and she alone knows why – but she should have the decency to respect him as a person and the office that he holds

Carly hates Gwen because she sees so much of herself when she looks at Gwen.

Seems like everyone loves Gwen

Just Like Gwen and Gavin I seem to learn something new every time I watch Gilmore Girls.

Does anyone else find the M&M comercial a bit strange. The one with Iron and Wine as the theme song where it's like a psychodelic thing. And the Napoleon Dynyamite kid grabs a red M&M and it's hard to tell if the thing is screaming or laughing because he is about to get devoured. It's pretty scary really. I wonder if all those missing people are just actually M&M's for a big giant beast who has the munchies.

Yeah um I suck lately... sorry.

Internet was down for a while and I have been busy these last couple of weeks so I have been reading blogs and not writing so much. It kind of echoes in here so there havent been a whole lot of blogs to read.

hummmm

I had a few long talks with a friend this week about Shawn coming to town. I when it got to be the week of I started to feel like I didn't want him here. Then he cancelled. Well with the help of this friend I have decided to distance myself from him. He's ok just I need more. And after 7 years if he really wanted a chance with me he would have acted sooner. That and the fact that I never talk to him and our friendship is almost secretive on my part doesn't help. Thank god I have friends like this to help me get out of my own head.

It's nice he also tells me when I am being bitchy.

Eh se la vive.

We have also decided to form an application process in order to date me.

So let me tell you a little bit more about Lucifer Cartman Fishy Fish. I have had him for a year and a half. He was my research project in my cognitive learning lab at Wayne State. I had to teach him to not attack mirrors. Being a beta fish he is a bit hot headed. I also taught to go to the top of the bowl when I banged on the glass. That didn't last long well basically because I don't see much use of it. I haven't kept up the mirror thing either.

We named him lucy because he is a redhead and a bit feisty, we eventually decided that lucy will be his drag queen name and to just stick with lucifer because of his uncontrollable rage. So after Lucy and I moved up to Mount Plesant (he really likes to wear pumps) he resided in the living room where he could visit with everyone. When anyone decided to turn the tv on he would go bezerk and start shaking and try to make him self big. We were watching south park one time and he looked just like cartman. Fishy Fish is just his proper name. Now he has gotten used to the tv. He sits with us and watches American Idol, his favorite person is Simon Cowel and thinks that the kid with the glasses should go to hell. The one thing that buggs me about Lucy is that he stares at us during the comercial breaks.

I didn't kill my fish!!! Last night I was taking his bowl out of my car (he likes to travel) and the bowl broke in my hands then smashed all over the parking lot. I picked up the fish who's formal name is Lucifer Cartman Fishy Fish and ran his butt inside. I ploped him in a pan full of water and he was swimming funny for a while. I thought I killed him. After a while he quit flopping when I was running him inside. It really scared me, I am so glad he made it through the night. I think he is still pissed off at me.

The reason for the travel is that I took a written test for a job in Oakland County. I am aftraid that it was too easy, I don't like too easy tests. It means that I either didn't work hard enough and I did poorly or that it was infact an easy test and I am not the only one who thinks so. Hopefully I will have a real job soon and hopfully there but I am worried.

'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!'
Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here's to being single...
Drinking doubles...
And seeing triple!

Top O da morning to ya. Yup I still hear that from some of my relatives. The last of the O'Radigans at our sunday breakfasts. Our family reunions are always fun with the sword dancing and the step. I have been asked three times already if I was drunk yet. Yeah right like I am going to really miss college. No body asks if I have eaten my corn bread yet but whatev.

A pint of guinnes and a dalop of potatoes to you all!

So I made the mistake of going bowling tonight while wearing my new cardigan. The mistake is that i was wearing my camosile underneath and lets just say that tonight the girls were looking good. That's what happens, I have good boob shirts and I have "eh it's an ok rack" shirts. Well today as I knew I would need it I wore my fake wedding ring. I forgot about it until it was too late tonight. I got hit on by a townie, and I didn't remember until it was too late. Eww he kissed my grubby bowling ball hand twice. Yuck! Yeah kinda wondering if I am too picky???

Sooooooo I was going to get my boobs signed by Ron jeremy who is on a debate tour, but I fell asleep and woke up around 6:30 when I decided to take a shower instead of venture out into the cold and get a t-shirt signed by a grubby old guy. I wasn't going to let him touch me but I would let him touch the chest of a t-shirt.

See tricked ya.

Ron jeremy has this debate tour where they debate the merits of porn. It's really only good cinema when you press the fast foreward button. Something that Stanley Kubrick realized in "A Clockwork Orange"

I heard a funny joke today.

Q. What's funnier than a dead baby?




A. Kicking Ashley Simpson in the Throat!

I guess if you were to do that she would still have a singing career.

So I am going to try to get Ron Jeremy to sign my boobs. I will tell you tomorrow how I will do it but it is my goal.




Ok so on my b-day my girls and I have in recent years gone out to dinner and then off to partake in adult beverages. Well since the girls are kinda scattered, Debbie and I went out with some of our guy friends. Doug had a martini dinner for us which consisted of equal parts of "Five O'Clock" and Fruit punch. We called them cosmos for all intensive purposes. Then off to the bar for the count down. at midnight Deb came back with a shot of Tequilla after I had a Captain and Coke. So we are about three drinks into the night and I hesitantly do shot of tequilla. Not much alcohol about 4 drinks in 2 hours. I should be able to handle it. But NO, I have gotten sick off of tequilla too many times. I was tossing my cookies my first minutes of 24. God 24 that day it was like opps I am an adult now, How the hell did that happen? Scary shit!

So I have been on kind of a hiatus for the week. I have my reasons. Lets go for the good news first. I have been asked to test for the position in the Sherriff's department, which I am doing a week from tomorrow. Debbie said before I left home after my not so fun night that resulted in the last post that I would go home and I would get good news about this job and I did. The other good news that I got was Niagra Falls broke up with the girl he was seeing this week. We have had it planned for weeks that I was going to go and see him next week because his company is holding a training near my town.

THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE: Well yesterday was my birthday. As you can see it's not a big deal to me. I don't celebrate anymore because it just means that I have completed another year without accomplishing my goals. Wooo Hoo. This year struck me right off the bat. I have been in tears again all week. It's like 2006 is the year of the tears because I never cried before. Nothing used to phase me, I prided myself on that. (not a good thing to pride yourself on I know). When I was younger I made plans for the year 24 as well as the year 26 and 28. I am no where near where I want to be at 24. My plans aren't going how I expected them to. I wondered over to my grandfather's house yesterday and he did his grandpa thing and made me feel better for a little while. This morning I got upset again on my way to church though, this time it wasn't because I am not suceeding at the level I belive myself to have the potential for. This is because I felt entirely alone amoung my family. I didn't open any presents on my birthday. I didn't get anything, nor did I really expect or want to. When I got exactly what I wanted I was mad. My mom made me a cake and we went bowling. My brother took me to the movies and I didn't let him pay for my ticket but I let him buy me a pop. It was perfect. My other brother didn't even say happy birthday. I started thinking about it last night and reminded my parents this morning that this is the third year in a row that this particular brother had done nothing for my birthday. I told them there that I was not going to go out of my way in following years on his birthday. Previously I would spend days baking and finding just the right presents and usually going to several diferent markets to get the right kind of lettuce and the right kind of meat cuts. I found out later that this afternoon my mom got after both my dad and my brothers about their lack preparedness on our birthdays, because they had done the same to us in previous years. I just realize how much I rely on my mom. My mom didn't get me anything either, but she did give me what I needed some recognition.

Tonight Shawn (Niagra) called, he also forgot my birthday suprise suprise and I didn't tell him about what had with my brother and father. But it made me feel a lot better. We talked for an hour, I can't do that with a lot of people. Some of the people closest to me! But I felt so much better. Even better when I am feeling alone that the man who once told me that we were going to get married and be old and decrepid together, and lives so far away is there for me in the precise time that I need it.

Debbie and I talk a lot about being spinsters, and deb is my best friend, she has been since the fourth grade, we are always going to be there for eachother. We have been saying that it doesn't matter what me come in and out of our lives that we will be together, but I guess it does matter. I want to have a family and a house and all that jazz. Debbie and I will always have eachother to me finding that other person, that will be as close to me as my best friend is, is also important to me.

For now, until I rationalize it away!

So I kind of got fired. Not really because I only worked there for 5 days. I thought my parents were going to freek out but when I told them they said they didn't really want me working way out there anyways.

So I also decided that if I don't start making light of these situations I am going to go crazy. Debbie my dear friend got me drunk on Thursday night. Two rum and cokes and a beer later I felt that I had disowned my Irish, German, and Scottish heritage. God I used to beable to finish a fifth by myself and still be able to stumble home when the party ended. Not that that is a good thing. Anyways I started to think Ciavarro like thoughts I can't even remember them but they were fucked up . I remember laughing at the fat guy who wore a shirt that was way too small for him. I am sure he has a jaws of life stored away somewhere to get that sucker off. I also rememer sitting down at the town bar which is where all the hippys haing out thinking I am going to nail me a hippy tonight!!! Our friends fuck buddy came and sat down with us and debbbie started WW III between me and this guy. I have never been a fan and had always treated him like shit for being an ass to this other girl. Anyways when I got tired of telling him how stupid and nieve he was I went to go sit with debbie. She was messing with some townies and I sat down and this one started talking in a fake brittish accent and said he was from Argentina. Ummm yeah right. Oh wait but you lived in Mount Pleasy for 16, guess what honey child you are from the us. Especially when I see ex's on your hand, who did you steal your beer from?

What elese was funny was that there are more looser-y people than us that live in mount pleasant. You know those people the ones that graduated 3 years a head of you and you see in your college classes thinking I thought I was the oldest person in here, and I KNOW I feel like a looser. But hey they kept buying me drinks, I guess they can stay around.

So since I am severly lacking in the cashola department I haven't gone out to the bar in almost three months. Not that big of a sacrifice. I have gotten a lot done and I haven't been sick at all. So that means I drive. I have no problem dropping off and picking up from the bar. Tuesday I did just that. As I picked up the girls the bouncer had to walk one of them out of the bar. Aparently she passed out on the floor of this skanky bar. You know the kind of floor that is all muddy from the toilets over flowing all the time. Yeah so she got to sit in the car I am borrowing from my mom. So we are driving out of the parking lot and are sitting at the light, the REALLY drunk girl starts puking all over the front seat of the car. Aparently she couldn't get the window down far enough. That's when debbie started taking picutres and the girl when finished puking down the side of my car rested her hair in the puke on door.

Gotta love drunk people. They have such wonderful hygine habbits

Here's another one for Lenten Diet inspirationg and Outlaw's amusement.

Also my brother's and my biggest fear. We have poor genetics. My brother has less than 10% body fat and still has Cankles, and I always wear heals and always skirts to my knee.

I guess some people will always just have to work at it!

Any body elese grab a Poonch-key to day. I guess this is just supposed to be a detroit thing but I wonder??? 1000 calories a doughnut! Must go run after sending out resumes. Yup still looking for a job in the D!

Anybody see the The Colbert report last night. Wow what a rendition of the Apostles Creed. Holy shitI have been going to Catholic School and Catholic Church for the better part of my schooling and I just mumble my way through it. I dont know about you but my Catholic school was lacking. The umpth generation of Schmidager/DeMeere kids are only going to Catholic School twice a week rather than 6 days. Really I don't mind.

Ehhh Whateva!

Ohhh my feet hate me! The good part is that I can't even feel my blisters anymore. #1 on my grocery list... Dr. Sholes Orthopedic Inserts. I will just follow the smell of old people, they are prob. right next to the reading glasses and aluminum canes.

I really like working at this new resturant. Too bad I cost Debbie about 5 bucks today because of a mix up. I already decided I was going to get her a gas card when I start making tips just because she saved my ass so much this past few months. I owe her so much, with out her doing favors for me I don't know if I would have been able to survive.

Today was the first time since thursday I didn't work a double shift. I worked my ass off this weekend, today I started off work kinda tired and we were pretty slow until an hour into the shift. I picked up my pace but aparently not enough. My boss kept saying "Go Faster" after she asked me the first time I started flying and then she kept it up and I started to feel I couldn't handle it. It was starting to feel crazy and I spilled Coke all over one girl, my boss said the girl tiped over my tray so that makes me feel better. Then I mixed up checks, BUT I still got some really good tips which at this point is a measure of performance because until I get done with all of my training I will be making minimum wadge. Fuge I forgot my work book, I will have to go out and get it tomorrow.

So when my boss and I had our meeting She told me that she kept pressuring me to see if I could work under pressure. Thank goodness it was just t